


What's It Gonna Be?

by KSQ



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, Lesbian, M/M, OUAT - Freeform, Once Upon A Time, Shura What's It Gonna Be, Swan Queen - Freeform, Swan Queen Once Upon a Time, Teen Romance, regina emma, sqsupernova, swan queen ouat, university romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-22
Updated: 2018-09-22
Packaged: 2019-07-01 16:59:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 29,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15778278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KSQ/pseuds/KSQ
Summary: Emma and Robin embark on a flirty matchmaking game that eventually leads to unexpected results with the two sexiest students on campus: Killian Jones and Regina Mills.





	What's It Gonna Be?

**Author's Note:**

> Based on Shura's song 'What's It Gonna Be' and dedicated to Victoria, SearchingApples and my wonderful artist Luce aka BlondeSheriff!

 

**\--**

On a selectively warm afternoon in May, when the sun was hanging low in the blue sky, Emma’s emerald eyes found the black Mercedes Benz.

She followed its progress with a growing smile as the sleek car slowly crawled around the corner by the Languages Faculty. Bringing with it, the definition of the word _sexy_ embodied in itself, and most suited to owner of that beautiful sex machine.

Robin was sprawled out on beside Emma on the freshly mown grass. Toying with his daydreams, evidently couldn’t be stopped. He favored escaping into a world of his own. The smell of earth was strong. It was a warm summer that year. The kind that fatigued everyone with a dreadful, pestering heat until the rains descended upon the heads of thirsty flowers.

But Robin couldn’t care less about poetry as the afternoon faded. He was comically spinning a regular yellow lead pencil on the tip of his index finger. And as carefully as she observed his antics, Emma silently wondered about her best friend’s IQ level; there were two sides to him. Either he happened to be the most clownish British dude on campus, or he was weakened knees with his fluency in poetry from all walks of life. Nevertheless, the blonde loved him completely.

“Heads up,” she announced, quickly slipping on a pair of round black shades. With silky blonde hair gathered up into a high ponytail, Emma looked like a weirdly pale bug of some sort. However, brooding on the moment’s sheer fascination over a dawning spectacle seemed to add more color to her cheeks.

Immediately, Robin snatched the twirling pencil in midair and bolted upright. A goddess amongst women was entering campus. Perhaps the most ungodly part of the equation was honestly feeling the dire need to whet his appetite by courting an older woman. To roam the mysterious castle that contained so much sophisticated artifacts and secrets behind a pair of mellow brown eyes. Stunned for the umpteenth time, he sucked in air through his teeth.

“There she goes,” he whistled. “There she goes again. God help us all.”

“I swear, that car is something to die for.” The blonde hugged her knees as the Benz rolled into the parking lot before them and nosed its way into a space.

“She’s to die for,” her best friend commented. “No wonder many empires fell because of women. I’d do anything for her. I’d lick the tip of her shoes, if so requested. I’d…”

Emma stretched out her boot and nudged him. He smirked.

Both of them had been childhood friends for twenty one years now and counting.

Their parents went to the same schools. Both high and university levels. His dad was comfortable drinking buddies with her dad. Their mothers sat down and gossiped together over cups of tea on Sundays. And for as long as Emma could recall, Robin had always been by her side. Like chewing gum sticking onto the bottom of her colorful Converse sneakers; he was there every step in her life. Even though he was the goofiest guy she had ever known.

 “Just look at that face. Bloody gorgeous.” Robin stretched himself out as if posing for a photo shoot. “How do I look? Appealing enough?”

Emma tossed her head back. After considering his attitude in attempting to appear handsome but failing terribly, she scoffed. “You look like a side dish I would not want to even taste. Get up.”

“Oh shut up, you’re just jealous.”

“Of what? She knitted her brows at him.

Robin made a full gesture from his feet to his chest. “Of this masterpiece.”

“You’re hairy and scruffy looking. You’re like a bush that needs trimming.” She returned her attention to the Benz. “Plus you always smell like the forest.”

“Hey that’s because I help my mother everyday by tending to her flower garden!” he reminded her in a defensive tone.

Emma however, was dead keen on provoking him. But not this time. She couldn’t further her torments after the black car parked and was taunting her. In the car. Behind the windshield. And now patting down her honey colored flawless face, was the one woman who literally turned every head around campus.

“I mean, she takes like half an hour fixing her face in that bloody car,” Robin tugged the blonde back into reality. She stared at him blandly. “And then it’s like the world is just waiting on her to come out. So that it can continue to spin again on its axis. It’s like she knows I’m just waiting to see her.”

“To her,” Emma returned to earth, “you don’t exist.”

“What a way to kick a dude when he’s fantasizing,” her pal said, bearing a frown. “Had she been a man. Then I wouldn’t have punched you in the gut. Every single time you do this to me, Swan. Every single time I’m this close,” he held up two fingers about an inch apart, “at believing I stand a chance with her; you kick me in my arse.”

“I’m sorry but she’s way out of your league,” Emma tried to explain with a smile. “Besides, she’s older.”

“So what?” his eyes never left the Benz. The fierce white lights flashed twice as the engine was killed. “She’s single.”

“She’s like the most beautiful woman on this entire campus,” the blonde enlightened him. “Back in high school, she would have been the totally amazing cheerleader that every guy wish he could score on. And you’d be the geeky dude who wears mismatched socks and stumbles over his own shoes.”

“If I want your sucky opinion, then I’ll ask,” he scowled but never quite growing angry. After all, Emma was his ride or die.

She had helped him through some pretty shitty times. And he could never repay her for all the courage and belief in him. Those motivational speeches. The way she stayed when everyone else didn’t care to bother.

Regina’s keys jingled as she graced the walkway with her presence. Almost as if the cement should be thankful for the pleasure of feeling those stilettoes upon it.

She was consumed inside a bubble that contained an aura of confidence, the kind of confidence that Emma envied. So much that the blonde would have paid to learn that kind of composure and poise. The way the brunette managed to carry along with her, a sense of being automatically in control. Wearing a black skirt suit tailored to hug every curve. Her red lips serving as a distraction. And in awe, were all the members of the male species.

Even though they hadn’t ever exchanged a word. Whether in class our out of those god awful lectures. As Regina neared the two of them gawking, those brown eyes that were the mellowest shade, became pinched from a smile. And on the receiving end was no other than a longtime admirer: Emma.

The older woman winked as Swan stared.

“Dude,” Robin scrambled up into a sitting position and gaped. “She…she smiled at you. She…noticed you. She winked. That means she knows you and therefore, she knows me.”

“You’re a mess,” Emma shook her head with a smile. Surprisingly, she felt a light warm flush creeping up her neck. Staring at her pink shoelaces seemed to be the best damn thing in the world.

There was a first time for everything, wasn’t there? Like that smile. It was like a slice of heaven, something she felt awkward enough admitting to herself. They hadn’t talked before. Not really. Yet, there were certain things that never went unnoticed. Like the prompt arrival of the Mercedes and the expensive suits. The way the brunette’s choppy hair fell onto her shoulders. Emma always seemed to sit a few rows behind her. And because of that strategic position, she always managed to catch a glimpse of the older woman’s stance. Her rigid posture when focused or slack shoulders when tired.

“Fantastically lounging like a waste of space,” came a crisp British accent, stronger than Robin’s but more or less too posh.

Emma reared her head and considered no other than Killian Jones leaning against a post like an Italian model. His brooding and pensive look wasn’t always unattractive. But when he chose to be a dick around Robin, Jones wasn’t quite the pleasantest of company. At times, his arrival was suitably convenient. When she happened to be in the sole company of herself, Mister Handsome didn’t appear. And now here he was, strategically planting himself in close proximity.

“Tell me, do you love skipping classes, Robin? Wasting your tuition away on a third year that could mean so much more?” One could literally taste the sarcasm between those words.

Robin rolled his eyes and threw a glance of disbelief at Emma. “Forgive me for inquiring. But did I summon a bloody demon into our presence just now?”

“Nah,” Emma studied her chipped pink nail polish with a smile. Perhaps, Killian had a man crush on her best friend. Hmm. Not too bad, was it? Very…funny. At least to her it was.

“You should do one of those commercial gigs, Jones,” he said with a scowl. “You’re always too monotone and distastefully boring.”

Killian glanced away as if entirely fed up with the situation. “Had you not been in my group for this essay, then I wouldn’t give a toss about you.”

“Likewise,” Robin collected his bag, stood up, and let out a long sigh as Emma reached up for him. “He secretly likes me,” he whispered to Emma who was pouting, shades still on. “I think he might have a man crush on me. The way he stalks me all around campus.”

“He’s sexy,” the blonde smiled. “And he definitely has a man crush on you.”

“You call it sexy. I say he’s the most annoying fuck in my year.” And with that said, Robin strode off, holding onto the strap of his duffel bag and scowling along the way.

By the time she had dragged herself to the 6:30 Micro Economics class in the Larson’s Lecture Hall, Emma was already stifling a yawn.

Gone were the days in first year when classes lasted whilst the sun was awake. When her mind was more focused and energy soared through that lanky body. But now, the timetable had dwindled down to full time night classes. Which pretty much meant that she had to ride the bus after nine. And if it wasn’t for Robin’s company, then the whole journey home would be even more distasteful and lonely and boring.

By the time she managed to slip into the class, the entire first five rows had been occupied by yawning women in work attires and two boys who were trying to flirt with each other. One rule Emma had maintained was to never sit behind the fifth row, especially in a class that was managed by no other than Elliott Sanchez. Who was possibly the only lecturer that was capable of dragging out his sentences until everyone suffocated from anticipating the next line.

Without even being fully aware of her space and surroundings, head in the clouds after noticing that Sanchez was hugging a thick volume of notes, Emma slipped into a seat. She was tired. Her hand already ached from imagining the amount of notes to be written within three hours ahead.

By the time she managed to get home, her right arm would fall off. She’d have to run a hot bath just for that particular limb. And to make matters worse, Elliott reminded her of the grim reaper sometimes with that awful black suit and briefcase. She could count the amount of times her mind sailed away during class and onto a sandy beach in the sun where a Martini wasn’t too far away.

“Hello.”

The blonde quickly dropped her pen and almost choked on air alone. Sitting on her right, merely two feet away, was the owner of the mellowest pair of brown eyes she had ever seen.

Regina smiled sweetly. Head tilted sideways a bit, the brunette appeared somewhat amused. “Come back to earth, dear.”

“Hi, um…” Emma stooped low to retrieve her pen. On the way up, she bumped her head upon the desk clumsily. “Shit. I’m…” The blonde tried to appear composed, “…embarrassed. This isn’t the way I imagined this.”

Try as she might to stifle it, Regina chuckled anyway. It was a low and almost musical sound. To the younger woman, she captured that piece of a symphony and memorized it.  “You’re rather funny,” the brunette said.

“I don’t even try. I swear.”

“There will be no silly whispering in my classroom!” Sanchez bolted out from the front of the room. Directly, he was already flipping the pages of that rather ridiculously thick volume. “Now, Monopolies. Sub heading. Characteristics.”

The rustling of pages and fumbling for pens ensued.

Regina, gracefully parted her red leather bound notebook.

She was like a fine piece of art that gradually left the admirer speechless for a few long minutes. With glorious sculpted legs crossed at the knees, one black heel glinting from the shine, her black Pilot pen was poised and ready. And there wasn’t an exact fault on the body of a goddess like her. Not a strand of dark hair daring to create any kind of frizz. Not even a single crease in her red shirt and expensive looking tailored black suit.

Emma’s gaze lingered on the perfectness of those long nails. As red as her lipstick and adding to the exotic beauty of a woman who continued to ooze sex appeal every second of every minute.

“Notice how his tie attempts to choke him but yet he perseveres?” Regina leaned a little in the blonde’s direction. “Maybe he’s dead already.”

Emerald eyes rested on Sanchez and she snorted.

“He reminds me of a shark. Dressed in a ridiculously out of sorts looking suit.”

Emma bent her head low to accommodate the burst of giggles that erupted. “Stop it,” she frantically whispered to the brunette.

Regina merely continued writing as a smile rested on her red lips. Here was the obvious intent to lighten the mood between them. To create a bond by initiating conversation. Whether considered as light words to perhaps unearth a slight interest on both sides, the older woman was slowly gaining Emma’s attention. Not only by speaking to her so suddenly, but also by existing.

Four paragraphs in. The room was growing stuffy. One of the guys up front bravely stood up and stretched, letting out a yawn. He turned around and made funny faces at the class. However, Sanchez continued dragging out his notes without a care in the world. He persevered. By then, the blonde’s hand was already throbbing. The back of her neck felt stiff and as if sensing the same feeling, Regina slowly rolled around her head in a circle.

“I think my blood pressure is high right now,” Emma said softly.

The brunette caught her words and gazed back with tired eyes. “I’d very much like to curl up on my balcony on the roof and sleep.”

Swan stared back in awe. “You have a balcony on your roof?”

“Indeed. I also have a cat. Her name is Kitty.” The corners of Regina’s mouth curled upwards. She, perhaps, was delightfully enjoying the conversation.

“What?” Emma’s attempt to swallow her laugh wasn’t successful. She freed the small burst arising from honest humor and stared incredulously at Regina. “You actually named your cat Kitty?”

“I was out of name suggestions to be honest.” The brunette shrugged. She continued to write. They both did. “She responds very well to Kitty. Imagine if I had fallen for the first name.”

“And what was that? Feline?” the blonde realized that she was completely and utterly adoring the older woman’s character.

“No. Too easy. Georgiana.”

Swan was impressed by Regina’s sense of humor. As straight faced as she delivered those one liners, the blonde realized that she had gained knowledge about a woman who had…an hour before…been a complete stranger.

“That’s actually a really cute name,” Emma admitted.

“Try saying it every darn time you call her to the food bowl.”

By the time the three hours had passed, the younger woman realized that she had written over ten pages of notes. And not once had she fallen under a spell of boredom or sleepiness. Thanks to the remarkably amusing companion on her right. They both packed up their books and strolled out of class.

Emma suddenly found herself gravitating towards Regina who offered her a new kind of feeling. Possibly, it was refreshing to feel totally comfortable in her presence. The blonde didn’t have too many friends. In fact, Robin could most likely be labelled as the only solid connection with another human being. And that was enough said in all its entirety.

Even though the brunette still turned heads, Swan marveled over the humility the other woman displayed or rather…possessed. Within her personality, she didn’t dwell on absorbing the attention many others gave her. But she breezed through her steps coolly. She existed apart from the glory the world tried to encase her in. And that was obviously the most admirable thing ever to behold.

“I actually enjoyed the class because of you,” Emma remarked. She was supposed to feel a little out of place walking along with Regina. But that feeling never arose.

The brunette smiled. “Ditto.” In that moment, Swan wondered whether there was some underlying factor playing out in their engagement with each other. Like, maybe the older woman possibly entertained the blonde’s company merely because she had happened to be nearby. And therefore sitting next to Emma possibly encouraged conversation that had no intention to form a profound bond.

“Fair and square, you’re fighting a losing battle,” came Killian’s voice from just outside the exit. A gush of wind greeted the two as Regina’s brows furrowed. And Emma immediately detested the mood that they happened to step into. From a calming, refreshing walk in each other’s company to an obvious confrontation.

“Says the boisterous know it all!” Robin flung back.

Emma hurried her steps onwards, only to stumble upon the two of them face to face in what could be labelled as brawl attracting obvious attention from bystanders.

“The book was worth the effort of reading. An appreciative work. Melville was a mastermind. At best.” Jones folded his arms and scowled. “Leave it to you to be unappreciative of the best works of literature.” He would never settle on common grounds.

“Look, I’m not the kind of man who wants to suffer through a hilarious amount of pages of unnecessary descriptions about some asshole’s life before actually meeting a whale. And when we do meet the bloody whale, he’s some pansy who doesn’t live up to my expectations.” Robin’s face had become flushed.

“Thought you said that you didn’t move past the sixth chapter?” Killian narrowed his eyes at his rival.

“That’s because it didn’t feel that way! What I read after the sixth felt like a trance.”

“You’re as dumb as they come, Robin.” Jones sighed. He merely glanced at Emma with raised eyebrows.

“And you’re a stubborn, self-centered jackass.”

“Oh you two egotistical idiots, would you shut up?” Regina’s hoarse voice demanded. Not too loud but at the right octave to deliver her frustration. “Why don’t you go bang your fists on your chests somewhere else?”

Robin, immediately stopped scowling and gazed starry eyed at her. What felt like an embarrassing moment in all manners of speaking, slowly unfolded in front of Emma’s eyes as Killian not only smiled at her, but winked. His charming ways seeped into her mind and curled up there. And she found herself admiring how effortlessly he appeared dashing.

As they hopped off the bus that evening, in each other’s company and continuously engaged light in conversation, Robin couldn’t help himself.

“He doesn’t suit you, I’ll admit,” he said, playfully bumping shoulders with the blonde.

“Who?” her thoughts were buried deep in her own world. Wondering how Regina could name her cat something as hilarious as Kitty.

“Pompous Jones.”

“Oh,” she bit her lips. Constantly lamenting about their collisions; the blonde had gotten used to the antics displayed on both sides. But how long would it last? “Just because you two don’t get along…”

“He’s arrogant and stubborn. And he believes the world in himself.” Robin’s passionate words confessed his vexation about a man he obviously loathed.

“That he is. But he probably has good qualities. We all have the good and the bad, don’t we?” Emma wound her arm through his as they walked down a path that was dimly lit by street lamps. And she smiled. “I mean, he’s smart. His GPA is like 4.0.”

“So is yours!”

“I know but he’s a different kind of smart. He buries himself in Literature.” Emma effortlessly admired anyone who leaned towards the most substantial novels that entailed so much knowledge. It was one of the cheapest tickets to take a deserved vacation. “I guess that he teaches with the same passion. Because Andy down the street from us? He’s in Killian’s class and he says that Killian is a totally amazing teacher.”

“So what. He teaches high school kids. Big deal.” Robin would not let go of his opinion on the man.

“He’s a good teacher. Plus he’s really good looking. I mean, I’m totally out of his league. As you’re out of Regina’s league. But we can hope, can’t we?”

Robin didn’t reply immediately. They strolled by the ice cream parlor that was still opened. A few people lingered inside. Bobby, the burly owner who had a soft spot for cats and kittens stood behind the counter wiping dishes. A ginger cat wound its way around the legs of the chairs. Another black and white cat was curled up in the window.

“So what did you and Regina talk about? Apart from her cat?” Robin couldn’t help it. He was curious. What was she like? Did she merely exist to act as a pleasing source to rest one’s eyes on? Was it magic? To possess the kind of powers Regina had upon men?

That was a topic that gave her a warm, fuzzy feeling inside. “Hmm. Well, she came across as being like really funny. I mean, she has this way of being sarcastic but really hilarious. Plus, she has this smile that like…gets to you.”

“Contagious, you mean?” he studied her face from sideways.

Emma shrugged. “Nah. More like…it gave me a warm feeling. Like how you feel when you reach home. That kind of feeling. I guess what I’m trying to admit is that she made me feel less awkward about myself. About me being the complete opposite to her. And instead, I felt like the odd bits about me didn’t bother her at all.”

“Aw. Bonding with her, eh?” Robin nudged her shoulder again. It was refreshing to listen about Emma’s ease in relating to someone else. She experience much difficulty with opening up to other people. Friends weren’t exactly her ideal area to explore. At times he wondered why his best friend sought her solace instead of the comforting arms of other individuals. But then, experience always killed the heart.

In high school, the blonde was always on the receiving end of harsh remarks. Geek. Blonde. Vanilla. Smarty pants. The girls in school were odious. And even though she used to ward him off from defending her, Robin always found creative ways of handling the situation. A roach in one of the cheerleader’s makeup bag drifted into his mind. He smiled a little.

They walked on for a while and just as Emma’s house rolled into view, he took her arm gently. “I’ve got this brilliant idea that you’ll absolutely adore.”

Emma, of course, sighed. “Every single time that particular line comes out of your mouth, it only leads us to trouble.”

“Don’t be so judgmental.” His brows furrowed.

“Remember when you wanted us to strap the neighbor’s cat to your remote control car last year? Remember how that went?” She stared at him.

Robin shrugged. “I didn’t order him to roll sideways and into a storm drain.”

“He almost died!” Emma reminded him. “And I had to get under there to save the poor thing. Had me thinking that the damn clown could be down there waiting on me.”

“Regardless. I’ve grown up since last year and this game plan benefits us both ways.” He rubbed his palms together and seemed pretty excited. “Now, we’ve already established that I’ve got this fantastic crush on Regina. And it’s growing obvious that you’re inclined to Killian.”

“Seems like the most obvious thing since they started selling sliced cheese.” Emma shrugged.

“Now. How about we help each other on by growing close to our crushes. You’ll butter Regina up to notice and like me. I’ll attempt to flatten Killian by suggesting that I have a beautiful best buddy who adores him.” Seemed like a pretty fair plan to him.

Emma played with the idea in her mind. She batted it around.

“One small problem”, the blonde held up a finger and frowned at him.

“What’s that?” Robin frowned too.

“Killian hates your guts. If he was a villain, you’d be like frying in oil in a hole somewhere. So how will you even bring me into any kind of argument the two of you love to have?”

“Bugger,” Robin twisted his lips around and felt defeated. “Might pose a challenge. But I can try? Once you try with Regina?”

She hated the idea. Besides, Regina was six years older than he was. She didn’t really exhibit the kind of qualities Emma would have liked a woman in Robin’s heart to possess. With her sophistication, his scruffy look and naïve mind; everything acted as negatives. However, she was willing to try because he was her best friend. And she would do anything for him. No matter how ridiculous the request.

\--

Chum buddies.

The most unusual pair that totally doesn’t match each other, but comes in a set. The yin to her yang. The one guy who pushed her on the swing when they were only five, until his arms would hurt and complied even though she refused to come off.

On rainy nights, they would suddenly ride a brainwave, pulling on their raincoats and slipping out the backdoor. Then as teenagers, they engaged in the art of matchmaking by slipping love notes into lockers. They watched chaos ensue and reveled in all of it.

Robin, hid his amused expression behind an in depth analysis of Macbeth that was standing up on the table. And try as he might to study the incredible subtext and boring lines, nothing was sticking like needles and pins into his brain. Nevertheless, he persevered. By trying as hard as possible to concentrate, merely two pages were brushed through with strain before someone else strolled into the space.

Emerald eyes lifted from the pages containing notes about law cases and decisions. And when she observed Killian pulling out a chair and seating himself about two tables away, the blonde smiled a little.

He was terribly handsome she had to admit. Dark hair neatly combed into a wave that tumbled to the right. His handsomeness was indeed something to admire. And his dark eyes held so many secrets. He frightened her a little. Not the serial killer kind of fear. But the Christian Grey kind of mystery. Almost as if he had a playroom and she imagined it to be filled with little fluffy kittens and Friskies.

“Fucking hell,” Robin mumbled under his breath. “I swear the bloke stalks me.”

“Or he’s stalking me,” Emma felt rather happy about the thought. “Just imagine, I might be looking at my Mister Darcy.” Self-conceited. Loathing after perfection. Maybe straight out of a classic romance novel but ideally modernized by his occasional black leather jackets; Killian was ideally what her perfect boyfriend should look like. Possessing those qualities that seemed odious enough to chase away a few girls.

“Mister Darcy was pompous enough. Go ahead and accept the challenge of favoring the most egotistical man on the face of the earth.” Robin scowled.

“I like a challenge. If I find out he’s into me, then I’ll accept.” She smiled.

However, Robin’s brows furrowed. “How will you decipher if he’s into you?”

“From you asking him.” The blonde deadpanned.

“I’m not going to ask him something like that immediately,” he appeared cornered. “Why don’t you ask him?”

“And how will I do that, Robin?” Emma inquired in a questionable tone. “Should I just go up to him and ask? How desperate will that make me look? No. You have to do it. You have to talk to him. Like we planned.”

Just then, the sound of heels simultaneously clicking as the individual drew nearer, piqued their interest. This was strange. This space was never invaded by anyone else. Every afternoon, they chose that area for the mere purpose of joking around without distracting anyone else. And now…

Both of them, never expected to find Regina appearing by the doorway, with two books under her arm, a cellphone and car keys. The latter jingled when she proceeded to a table, offering a smile and wink at no other than Emma. And there it was again. The momentarily blissful feeling that maybe, just maybe, she wasn’t invisible as she thought she way.

Robin waved.

She waved back.

He started hyperventilating and had to be clapped on his back by the blonde.

“Behave yourself,” she warned. “Or else this wouldn’t work. She’ll think you’re a weirdo. More than you already are.”

They both resumed studying but to no avail. This was precisely the reason why that particular space was usually chosen as a hideaway to immerse herself in the books. For the simple fact that other people and their energies entirely distracted her. If it wasn’t their laughter and monkey behavior, it was the rustle of their pages or the repeating of notes in a hushed, monotone voice that literally was like dragging one’s nails upon a chalkboard.

Emerald eyes rested on the brunette over the top of her bundled up pages. And Robin’s glare directed at Killian, slowly transitioned into a stare. What was she like? She found herself wondering silently. In her adventurous mind, Emma found that the key to understanding someone resided in their habits. And she didn’t really believe in first impressions. So obviously Regina’s second attempt to wink at her seemed quite forward enough to derive a suitably awkward answer; that maybe the older woman was a tease who found the simplest pleasures in tickling her ego a little.

“Listen,” Emma turned to him and huddled over, “since we can’t study at all right now, we have to initiate the plan. It’s the best time since they’re like right there.”

“And what better way to do this than to have each other as exhibits so that they can check us out more from across the room!” Robin whispered frantically.

She could literally feel her nerves prickling up as further conversational topics between herself and Regina were anticipated. The blonde extended an arm. “Let’s shake to seal the deal.”

Robin nodded. He held out his hand and took hers. “Bombs away.” After the handshake, both of them wiggled their fingers.

Emma collected her notes and stacked them together as neatly as possible. Whilst Robin snapped his text book close and prepared for action. This was it, he thought. The one chance to outsmart the blonde. And thus thought of, even before she could decisively remove herself from the chair, he sprang up and quickly but noiselessly jogged towards Regina.

Incredible sorcery at work here.

Swan was left to stare. Dumbstruck. At his obvious attempt to sabotage her. For the deal the prior night had been simple. She would pair up with Regina to engage the brunette on Robin by adding a little color to his character. And he was supposed to sneak into Killian’s comfort zone. Now, the dumbest prank had been played since he had strapped the cat to his freaking remote control car. And he was going to pay for double crossing her.

Regina, firsthand, wasn’t entirely impressed by the intrusion. She had been trying to concentrate on her commercial law notes, savoring the space and serenity and then someone invaded it. If that didn’t serve as a jolt of dissatisfaction, she couldn’t bargain for anything else.

“I kind of suck at abiding by the rules,” said Robin initially and coolly, absorbing Regina’s smile and trying to disallow himself from leaning a little too much into her personal space. “So Commercial Law wouldn’t roll over easy with me.”

“Rebellious streak,” she nodded slowly, and flipped the page. The rustling sound took his breath away. “I tend to drift towards the compliant ones. A little daring. But…not too much.”

“I can do that,” he cleared his throat and sat up with a composed look. “Playing by the books. Why not?” Robin shrugged.

“Interesting.”

Regina’s brown eyes rested on the blonde who had awkwardly slipped into a chair beside that dark haired ignorant imbecile. Her mind brushed back to memories of Killian strutting around campus, believing that he was the sexiest man alive. She would beg to differ. Of all the times their paths collided, the man appeared to be self-conceited with an ego the size of the solar system.

“I’ve read the Harry Potter series like four times,” Emma found that being so considerably close to Jones failed to unearth some kind of fainting spell from her.

Due to of course being attracted to his good looks. She honestly believed that maybe her body would have responded differently. Perhaps the curling of toes and the presence of butterflies flitting around inside her chest. But there was the complete and surprising absence of those feelings. And the presence of somewhat of a challenge on Killian’s side.

“Harry Potter’s range of fiction is slightly distasteful. That’s just my opinion,” he admitted pompously.

Emma was appalled. Nevertheless, she upheld a composed face and licked her lips. “I respect that.”

Suddenly, he turned to offer her a beaming smile. One that confused her. “I’m kidding. I’m terribly in love with Draco Malfoy’s character. And the depth and his history.”

Her smile spread slowly. Totally swinging sideways but acceptable. The blonde sighed. “For a moment there, I thought you were going to bash me like a religious nut about witchcraft and sorcery.” Killian laughed. “Draco though?” she studied his face and couldn’t believe it. “Not even Harry? Or Snape?”

“Oh come on. Harry was so shallow and overrated. Snape, now that’s another one of my favorites. And yours?”

Emma beamed at him. “Hermione Granger.”

“Obviously,” he mimicked Snape.

They both laughed.

“I mean, it’s okay if you’re into dudes too.” She fished with a frown. “I love rainbows.”

“Who me?” Killian seemed surprised. “Not quite so. I’m not one of those.”

“I bet Elton John said the same thing when he was a kid,” Emma said and laughed. She meant it as a joke. But Jones was staring. The attempt to engage him in humor had sailed right over his head. “Moving on,” she quickly said. “So what’s teaching like?”

Regina, however, had caught the sound of Emma’s chuckle.

Almost immediately, although caught in the middle of reading a sentence and trying her best to ignore Robin’s bold gaze, she latched her eyes onto the blonde. Red nails curled upon the pages of her book. Slowly but surely, the brunette blinked as if mesmerized and all of this, Robin caught it live and up close.

Something had shifted behind those eyes. She hadn’t been honestly blabbering to him. Attempts to engage her in conversation hadn’t been exactly futile either. All the while Regina was divulging her thoughts into something far away from the table. He kept talking to her and those replies barely contained a full two sentences. Because her mind was obviously slanted. That much Robin was aware of. Her attention spilled over onto Emma and the moment he noticed this, something rolled over in Robin’s chest. Not exactly negative, but somewhat conflicting to his belief that he could capture her full interest.

If Emma’s laugh merely diverted her thoughts, then his conversation wouldn’t deliver pleasing results. He felt defeated immediately.

But then, Regina tilted her head in his direction and smiled. “My job tires me, Robin,” the brunette sighed. “By the end of the day, I’m hardly available for conversation.”

“I get that,” he admitted, although still wounded. “What is it you do again?”

“Marketing Manager at Flawless Cosmetics. You’ve probably never even heard of it but…”

“Oh come on,” he sat up and stared at her. “I’ve been using Flawless’ hair gel and the Crisp Scent body lotion for ages now. Comes in wonderful economically attractive bottles. I live for the go green initiative you blokes are pushing.”

“Rather delighted to hear that from you,” Regina was impressed. She sent him a smile. “Well then you’re aware of our many lines.”

“Definitely. Emma actually uses this particular shade of lip gloss and eye shadow palette from Flawless. I think it’s the blushing girl palette.”

“Ah yes,” again, her gaze rested on the blonde and of course, she appeared quite dazed by the younger woman’s presence in the room. There it was again. The blatant attempt to drift across the room like a ghost.

“So, you…” Robin cleared his throat and tried to win back her attention, “…you’re into TV shows?”

“Downton Abbey. Currently,” Regina admitted with a shrug. “And Agent Carter.”

“Blimey, Emma is obsessed with those two shows. Among others,” he sighed and appeared frustrated. “She doesn’t talk about anything else other than how fantastic that era was and Peggy’s sex appeal.”

“Does she?” the brunette seemed to be swimming in some delectably amusing thoughts she didn’t divulge. “Does she adore Agent Carter a lot?”

“Can’t stop talking about her at times. It’s kind of annoying how she has a girl crush on a fictional character.” He frowned. “Do you have girl crushes? Mine is Lexa from The 100.”

Pathetic but cute, Regina thought to herself.

On the other hand, Killian was displaying some mixed signals by throwing occasional glances at the table that Robin was occupying. It wasn’t delightful at all to be seated next to someone who wasn’t exactly in the same space as she was. Physically he might be. But mentally Killian was not. And that troubled her. It didn’t wound her but it unsettled her.

He was either focusing on Robin or Regina.

By then, the blonde noted that her best friend had begun to lean a little into the brunette, whilst offering up a terribly amusing expression on his face. All in all, maybe things were going too well for him. Whilst she was beginning to acquaint herself as a chum buddy to Jones, as compared to a crush.

It wasn’t Killian’s fault that he was a bookaholic.

It wasn’t Emma’s fault that they had brushed through the same novels in their lifetime thus far.

If he engaged her in a satisfying title for a book he owned, she divulged her passionate interest in the same piece. Therefore, from there, their conversation twisted around characters, dislikes and obvious flattery about Stephen King.

For her, this was the kind of encounter she experienced with her best friend and her father. When he was supposed to appear charming still and even tastier up close, Emma realized that she found a friend in Jones. Whether she detested placing him in the friend zone or not, nothing to the contrary affected her countenance. However, her glow radiated when those emerald eyes met brown ones. Something passed between herself and Regina. And shamefully, she diverted her gaze when Robin shot a glance over his shoulder.

“Are you into Regina?” the blonde carelessly asked in a softer tone. Her chin was propped up on an elbow. She appeared pensive.

Killian of course, glanced at her with a lazy smile. “Hmm? Why do you ask that?”

“Just your staring. It kind of says a lot.”

“And your staring?” he nudged her. “You fancy him, don’t you?”

“Who Robin?” Immediately Emma diverted her eyes from the table in front of theirs and frowned. “Hells no. He’s like my brother. We knew each other since we were in pampers. Basically shameful to fall in love with him when he’s not my type. And besides. I asked you first.”

“Not your type, ey?” He winked at her.

She stared back.

“Alright, alright. Which man who swings for the opposite team wouldn’t be interested in a woman like her? Might not be me. But some other man could find the appeal.”

He didn’t find Regina appealing? Even remotely interesting? Then why was he constantly casting a longing gaze towards the only other table occupied by Robin and the brunette?

“So why admire a woman when you don’t find her appealing?” Emma had to ask. She was confused.

Killian however, smiled a little in her direction and flipped a page smoothly. “I didn’t said anything about Regina being on the receiving end of my most sincere interest.”

Those emerald eyes widened a bit but then…slowly but surely returned to that serene look that reminded Robin of green apple candy. How unbelievable. How forward, of him to present those words up for examination. When had to understand now that her brain was the kind to over-examine situations from being an avid reader. She at once, had deciphered something buried within Killian’s DNA that even he seemed to be obviously disregarding. Something so delectable. Regardless of the situation, regardless of the way they were bonding, everything slowly fell into place. That maybe he wasn’t exactly into her or Regina. And he wasn’t into Jennifer Lopez or Beyoncé either.

Maybe he was…

As far as she could gather from the meaning behind his words, Emma realized that many of us hold demons inside. Refusing to let them out to play. Because we live in a society that tries to conform us into believing what is right is right and wrong is condemned. And maybe Killian was different and maybe he was totally straight. However, he was totally focusing on Robin a little too much than was expected. And the stalking made sense. Him showing up randomly in places and situations that flourished Emma and her best friend’s friendship on campus. His side glances during their mutual lectures.

At a quarter past nine in the night, the kind of nights that encompassed a black, overcast sky with whipping winds and swaying trees, Robin finally strolled out to join the blonde.

“What’s so amusing?” she studied his widening smile and frowned.

Collecting her black folder decorated with yellow flowers and thick with notes on pages, Robin shrugged. “Nothing.”

“You find nothing amusing?” Emma wearily dragged her boots alongside his as they slowly closed the distance between then and the bus park. “You double crossed me, Robin! I thought we planned to do this another way? Wasn’t I supposed to talk to Regina whilst you do the same with Killian?”

“Indeed, but I felt as if I was dodging a bullet tonight by avoiding him,” he scratched behind his neck. “Was not in the mood for a fight. My humblest apologies.”

“What else is bothering you?” she studied his face.

“Nothing. That’s it.”

“Liar.”

“I swear.”

However, when he tried to withhold information from her, she always managed to pry everything from his lips. Robin, tried as hard as he could to at least prolong the little bits of confessions about his conversations with Regina. And until they were seated side by side in the bus, the wind whipping her blonde hair, he tucked a few strands away from Emma’s face and sighed.

“You know, you’re a really good friend to me. You put up with my bullshitting. You never choose to part ways with a clownish bloke such as myself. And honestly, I don’t know how you do it, but you’re always there for me, regardless of the situation.”

“We made a promise when we were like five…”

“Oh the promise,” his head lolled sideways as he recollected. “On your back porch. Your mother’s sewing needle that made two pricks. Drops of blood.”

“We swore that no matter what, we would always be blood brother and sisters.” Emma rested her head upon his left shoulder as the bus rolled on through the night. “I don’t ever break promises. I probably know you more than anyone else.”

“Just the same…” He held his breath.

“I know you a lot.”

“Likewise.”

“Like every cell in your body speaks to me.”

“Okay, bloody creepy with the biology reference. But understood,” said Robin, sitting up now and frowning.

“So I was thinking, that from now, maybe we should switch up things. You know, go back to the original plan we had.” She playfully reached up to ruffle his hair. “The plan where you were supposed to get to know Killian. And I was supposed to get to know Regina.”

She was inwardly contemplating so much more than a simple compliance to their initial plan. Knowing fully well now, that she was equipped with new information. Information that led to a fork in the road on their way to claiming the existence of an actual love life.

Killian was somewhat inclined to Robin in a way that Emma found highly amusing and yet endearing. To finally realize how everything might not be black and white. She more than ever, was willing to have the two of them bond in a good way. A way that at first would allow friction but then a gradual ease away of all the conflict and drama.

“I don’t think so,” Robin disagreed immediately, shaking his head. “No way.”

“Why?” she protested. “Come on. It’ll be fun. Think of this as a challenge for both of us.”

 _Wouldn’t be a challenge for you_ , Robin thought to himself, avoiding eye contact. Regina seemed to be entirely interested in Emma more than she was inclined to him. In fact, the brunette didn’t give a toss about him and what he fancied. Instead, she felt the dire need to get to know the blonde more. To become her best friend. That was the ultimate problem with women.

They searched for paths to new friends, hoping to find a chum buddy. When in actuality, a dude was the bestest friend they could have. Heck, he could be a best friend. Someone she could confide in. But no. Regina was definitely looking for less romance and more friendly connections with a girl like Emma. Being the amazing, and intellectual person she was though, he wasn’t surprised. Swan was incredibly attractive beyond her physical appearance.

She could engage anyone in a conversation. Her tastes in books and music tended to pique anyone’s interest. For she had a personality that consisted of unique traits. Her likes caught anyone’s attention because she was different. She was not like other girls who seemed so basic. With their makeup and gossiping and laments about boys. And maybe that’s why Regina found her so delightfully intriguing. Added to Emma’s beautiful personality, she already had a few things in common with the brunette.

But he was jealous. He was jealous because he perhaps sought the wild interest of an older woman just as any young man would. And he was selfish in regards to getting so close already, in proximity and in conversation, only to now hand over everything so precious to Emma.

“I’m doing great on my own,” Robin admitted. “She’s already opening up to me.”

“Yeah but she would open up more to me. Think about it. Us being females. I’d get stuff out of her that could help your case. I’ll be honest with you. Killian is not attracted to me. That’s as far as I can tell from tonight.”

“No way. He’s an idiot.”

“I’m serious.” Emma shrugged. “He didn’t even flirt with me. I think he didn’t even notice the fact that maybe I like him in that way.” _Or maybe he doesn’t want someone like me at all_ , she wanted to confess. “He kept talking about books and his admiration for Ryan Reynolds and Draco Malfoy…”

“Wait, he’s obsessed with Ryan Reynolds?” Robin turned to stare at her with a bewildered look. This was new and intriguing. Perhaps, delightful. His heart skipped a beat as he recalled Reynolds in all his handsomeness.

“Yup,” she had struck gold. At last. “He couldn’t stop talking about Deadpool and whatever else Ryan starred in.”

“I have a man crush on Ryan. You are fully equipped with that information.”

“I know. That’s why I’m telling you.” She smiled.

The bus gradually slowed down and passengers filtered out. New ones slumped in after a hard day. The two of them huddled themselves closer in the back and from a stranger’s pair of eyes, would have appeared as a couple.

“So you’ll give it a try?” Emma realized that they were almost all the way down to their stop. “Please? For me?”

She was guilty. Fully aware of that and yet, the blonde felt compelled to propel Robin into that direction.

He sighed.

He remained unresponsive for ten minutes. “One try. And then if he pisses me off, that’s it.”

“Agreed,” the blonde smiled from ear to ear as they hopped off the bus.

\--

There is always that streak of talent buried inside of us that craves to leak out. To seep out into the world and show its true colors. Kind of like Superman suddenly appearing with an S on his chest. And a flapping cape.

Whether Robin felt the quake of his heart after signing up for the music club, it wasn’t revealed on his face. Instead, it was done with a robotic kind of countenance. Hoping to achieve what had been dumped upon him by Emma, there he was, writing his name on a sheet of paper as Killian obviously lurked within the depths of the breezy room on the third floor.

Whilst he was gathering up enough composure to proceed further, Swan was trying to locate the exact room where all Peer2Peer sessions were usually held. With a substantial amount of eagerness to explore, she felt her heart being tugged in the right direct. Almost as if this was fate. Providing that one didn’t have to receive a secret invitation to become a member. Or involve themselves in an initiation ceremony of sorts.

Emma found the room just as Robin’s heart swelled from the variety of musical instruments and large windows in the auditorium a few faculties away from where she was standing. He approached the drum set. As shiny as it was, there were still evidence of constant playing upon the cymbals. Robin felt…like experimenting. Naturally, he planted himself upon the seat and picked up the wooden sticks decorated with tiny red stars. Giving it a go, he maneuvered his way through a series of beats before settling on silence once more in the room. After that, since no one was around as yet, he approached the wide piano made of finely polished dark mahogany.

There was a time when he recalled his music lessons with a blonde haired woman. Every Saturday, it was. Just after lunch when his stomach was full and sleepiness crept in. She used to arrive on time. Miss Evans. And he could always remember the sting of her rolled up music book as she slapped his fingers for pressing the wrong keys. Until he was sixteen, he supposed, Evans had been released from her weekly lessons with him. By then, his parents were having their first taste of financial difficulties, small but evident. And when she had departed his life, Robin tried to play. He used to sit down and his fingers would find the keys. And then one Sunday, his father sold the piano.

Now, as a gentle cold wind slipped through the windows and danced around the room, he found an old tune rolling out of his fingers. The tips began pressing keys. His brain caught up and chased Für Elise for over a minute. It was like returning home with his mother somewhere upstairs reading a novel. His father in the backyard tending to weeds. And the traffic rolling by outside. The birds chirping on the windowsill and the smell of cookies drifting from the kitchen behind them. Miss Evans was at his side, observing and smiling. And he was sweating like a pig at the age of eleven.

When his eyes met Killian’s, he immediately felt that flashing bolt of anger shoot through his chest.

“I take it that you’re in the wrong room.” Jones presented himself near the door.

Robin couldn’t decipher the span of time he had been present in the room but evidently, the snide remarks would never subdue. “I’m in the right room, really,” he cracked his knuckles and remained where he was. “I suddenly felt that my passion for music must not be caged anymore.”

Killian took a few steps towards the piano, hands behind his back. “Evidently your childhood was well formed around famous pieces such as Für Elise. Did Mary had a little lamb slip in too?”

“Always the bloody wise ass.”

Robin rolled his eyes and rose up. He approached the windows and allowed the cool gush of wind to swirl around his already heated form. For nothing, in fact, no one could fluster him as much as Jones and his arrogance. When a few notes of Mary had a little lamb penetrated the room and his thoughts, Robin’s head spun around to rest on the dark haired literature obsessed idiot. He was hovering over the piano, and was smirking at the one man who seemed to fuel up his efforts to dish out sarcasm.

“Impressive.” Robin slow clapped. “What else can you manage? Twinkle twinkle little star?”

Smiling now, Killian didn’t quite sit down fully, but his fingers began to flutter across the keys. Until Sonata No. 14 filled the room. The piece was brilliantly played, so smoothly delivered even from Jones half standing that Robin stared and felt rather much like if his chest would explode. Not from anger or jealousy. But from becoming slowly affected and consumed by the sheer pleasure in piano music. The urge was swirling around in him to take up the drum sticks and have a go at what may end up being chaotic but obviously resulting from how contagious music could be.

“It’s nothing to boast about really,” Jones said as he stood up and studied Robin’s character by the window. “But I’ve been buried in the pages of music books and at least three instruments since I was five.”

“Well I’ve only taken a shine to the piano.”

“Piano, guitar and violin,” Killian said, not boastfully but to be informative in the discussion. “Being my parents’ only son, I was spoiled rotten.”

“Naturally,” Robin offered a small smile. Slowly, he realized that the turmoil, almost hurricane-like within his chest, was disintegrating. “You act the part well.”

“I was adopted,” Jones took a few steps towards the other man but his eyes remained on his shoes as he walked. “They could never bring forth a child. So they tumbled everything onto me. Must have been overcompensating since I was found dirty and penniless in an orphanage in London. But regardless, I owe them my life.”

Within two minutes, he had already gained a lot of background into the one person who terribly pissed him off. Now, being equipped with this part of Killian’s history, Robin felt that something was breaking away between them. The ice was melting.

“My parents are no heroes,” he said to Jones with a shrug. “But they raised an honest man.”

“Classes are on Wednesdays at six,” Killian informed him. “Never be late. If you want a go at the drums or piano. It’s a first come, first choice arena.”

“Noted.”

Killian took up a guitar so delicately, Robin’s heart melted a little as the other man set the instrument into place and he studied the strings.

“You play?” Jones threw a glance at his companion.

“Might have done a few times in high school. Out of mere experimenting and trying to be cool. I picked one up a few months ago, believing I could be as cool as Ed Sheeran. But naturally,” Robin sighed as Killian gazed at him, “I failed.”

“Sheeran is your choice?”

“Absolutely.”

Bowing his head low, Killian strummed away a few seconds as if testing out a melody and then, he sat upon a high stool. His right fingers tasted the strings once more. Robin leaned back onto the window and folded his arms, appearing pensive. Then, Jones began to play something that at first, appeared vaguely familiar until the beginning was tried again. When Killian began to sing, the room felt almost magical. Because his tone, his pitch, everything was incredulously perfect.

He began to belt out _‘Give Me Love’_ by Ed Sheeran whilst strumming away with a strained expression on his face. The music alone was consuming him. The lyrics. Jones threw himself into the song and drowned the room. Whilst Robin immediately became lost in awe and admiration. For a moment, he lost himself. He stood by the window and stared. His heart sighed and his chest swelled and even though it was just the two of them inside the room, the entire world and all its sounds were turned off. Even the wind as it chased its way around the space, could not chill his bones. He was lost and when he found his way again into thinking logically, even then, for a few seconds allowed nothing else. Because Robin was tugged into Jones’ singing and passion.

When the tune, at last, died down into strumming again on a piece that was wonderfully played out, Killian hugged the guitar and turned his head to acknowledge his newfound fan. An obviously thrilled Robin who couldn’t quite conceal his awe and admiration.

“I take it that you are impressed?”

“Impressed?” Robin collected another stool and lifted it closer to Killian. He sat down merely two feet away, in such close proximity that simply did not affect him but somehow produced a grand effect on the dashing dark haired man. “More like astonished that someone as pompous as you could actually weaken the knees of a man such as myself. With not even a few courteous drinks. But with a song.”

Killian, of course, lowered his smiling face to his finely polished black shoes. The rounded tips appeared immaculate to him. “One might think that buying you a drink would be out of the question…”

“A nice cold stout would be fine.”

“Hit the pub with me then?” Jones seemed eager for an answer.

Robin, allowed his glance to sweep the empty room without even feeling the effect of its emptiness. He stood up. “Why the bloody hell not?”

With a spring in his step, Killian accompanied his companion out of the auditorium and down the winding stairs.

A few buildings away, little butterflies were fluttering around Emma’s chest. Tiny ones that couldn’t stay still. Threatening to expose a totally amazed listener to the speaker who seemed to possess the perfect voice that aided in delivering the speech at hand.

Regina, as poised as she ever could be, was perched on the edge of one of the desks belonging to the classroom. And every so often, she used her hands to gesticulate a point relating to suicide and depression. Those red painted nails shimmered, creating little stars in Emma’s emerald eyes as the blonde gazed into brown ones. As she sat amongst the circle and gradually drowned, submerging herself in an angel that took the form of a human.

“At best, at least one person will care. And reach out to you,” Regina said to the room at large. “Providing that you seek out the immediate assistance needed. We feel that friends are lost during our periods of feeling extremely low. But evidently, there is someone who will lend an ear.”

“What if you’re too ashamed or scared to reach out for help?” Amanda, a Biology major asked. A few nods followed.

“No one should ever be ashamed about being depressed or having suicidal thoughts. That is why we engage as much persons as we can in these sessions,” Regina explained in a soft tone. “So that sensitizing even a few, can act as a form of disseminating the love and concern to others who might be going through the same feelings as some of us are.”

“We’re like ambassadors,” Emma contributed, feeling somewhat shy.

Brown eyes met emerald ones. Regina smiled. “Indeed we are. If we put ourselves out there as ambassadors to provide assistance, by simply listening and then perhaps referring that person to someone else more privy to handling these situations like the on campus counsellors, then we are on our way towards saving lives.”

The room grew silent for a few seconds. Within that time, Emma felt as if her heart would explode from the magnitude of feelings contained in the discussion. The concern and knitted community within the room between people, young people and older students who had showed up because they wanted to talk about prevalent issues. What had begun as a discussion on the growing numbers of suicides in the city, had eventually unraveled into a small speech by Regina that changed her. And not only that as a simple fact.

But she was also gazing at the brunette with a fresh pair of eyes. To know that someone cared about those persons who strayed into the darker corners of the world. To realize that the same person was a sophisticated and poised woman who was possibly the most beautiful one she had ever seen; sit amongst all of them with many pairs of eyes upon her. Remaining confident and calm and reassuring everyone that there was a second option. It was remarkable.

It was when Regina brought a brochure to her; that was when something almost like thunder rolled around inside an already chaotic chest.

She felt as if a new kind of nervousness had possessed her. Stealing into her soul like a ghost in the night and nesting snugly around that beating heart. A mind that raced and wandered and felt strained from the feelings she tasted. From the way their fingers brushed as the brunette handed over the brochure. The negligence on her part to breathe. Growing dizzy in seconds. And staring.

“I’ll write my cell number in here,” Regina said softly so the rest of the room couldn’t hear. “Perhaps you might call or text me.”

“Yeah,” was all she could manage as the older woman neatly wrote down the numbers on the inner flap.

“I’d very much like that,” Regina said directly. She continued gazing at the blonde.

When she returned to her chair, suddenly the world felt different. Emma was light headed. Uncertain. Perhaps, disoriented. Had she just been…hit on by another woman? After two winks the other day on campus, now the ease with which Regina handed over her number was substantially driven by some interior motive. Something that smelled a little like a sincere interest developing towards Emma and the blonde couldn’t quite figure out why any of it was happening.

“Were you ever suicidal Miss Mills?” someone asked whilst the blonde had begun to idly pick at her pink nail polish. She was lost in her mind that contained deeper thoughts about the brunette’s character.

But now, here was an interesting question that pique her interest. Emma, evidently, glanced up just in time to acknowledge Regina’s nod. Emerald eyes widened. Oh gods no. How on earth could someone so beautiful, with such an amazing soul, ever consider ending her existence in life? Her father once told her, that angels walked among everyone on earth. Selectively, they appear for either guidance to a human, or to fill the void that had been blasted away from distrust, confusion and hurt. Now, all she could ponder on was the possibility of being in the same room as one. But didn’t angels have to fall from Heaven before taking a place among men?

Regina did not fall. God possibly drifted her back to earth because of the softest heart she possessed. Because of her honest words and abundant advice.

“I was. And I had no one but myself. It took me a long and difficult time to crawl out of that hole. But I managed it just fine. However,” the brunette’s eyes met Emma’s, “I wouldn’t like everyone else to have just themselves alone in those dark moments.”

“It’s really scary when your mind is acting against you and you have to sway it in your favor to save yourself,” came the blonde’s reply. She surprised herself.

“Exactly. I find that we can be saviors for ourselves, but it is the greatest accomplishment to be a savior to someone else.” Regina tilted her head and considered Emma. “Have you ever been someone’s savior, Miss Swan?”

Emerald eyes blinked slowly. Almost as if she was too mesmerized to absorb the question. “I’ve reached a place where I realize that I have my own demons and only I can fight them. I don’t rely too much on anyone because they never understand me. So that’s why I’m my own savior.”

A look of utter awe washed over Regina’s features. In more ways than one, she couldn’t have been astounded further, had anyone provided another opinion on the matter. Their eyes met for the umpteenth time since the session had commenced and that longing gaze was held. That connection that lasted.

“Emma, in case any of you may be wondering,” the brunette began by addressing the room, “is a new face, but I can vouch for her absolute incredible and amazing character. I’ve never met another like her.”

Impressed completely, Emma felt her cheeks growing warmer and understood that a blush was becoming quite evident. She smiled, of course. Surprised, was the reaction she felt inside from that statement from Regina. Surprised and really awed. Not only by the purity of those words. But also by the medium used to deliver them; among strangers when on prior occasions of meeting, they hardly shared a prolonged period of contact to establish a definite bond.

Now, all she could decipher from the brunette’s confession, was a deeper analysis having been conducted on her for a very long time now. Whether through crossing paths or from distant observations made right on campus. Regina was really under the impression that beyond everything else, Emma was essentially worth her time and attention. And she, as much as anyone else could see, was intentionally and well deserved surprised.

“You didn’t have to do that,” the blonde said as the others drifted down the halls in front of them when the meeting was over.

Regina, tugging the straps of her black handbag further up her right shoulder, walked alongside Emma and frowned. “I didn’t have to do what?”

The younger woman shrugged. She felt overwhelmed. “You know, tell everyone that I’m amazing.”

“But you are,” the brunette said in the sincerest tone along with a smile. Her voice cracked a little.

“You hardly know me,” Emma said, feeling her chest tighten. “How can you be so sure?”

“If I am wrong, then you are yet to prove that. I judge a person’s character from my initial encounter with them. As you can recall, we haven’t ever exchanged so many words on a prior occasion as we had done in the last economics class. I, must confess that I found your company soothing in all respects.” Regina rested her hand upon the railing as they descended a flight of steps. Emerald eyes followed the progress of those graceful fingers as they caressed the hard polished wood.

“I really enjoyed our conversation in the last Econs class…” the blonde said, feeling utterly weak all of a sudden. “It was really nice. I told my best friend about it. How we talked. I guess,” she laughed nervously, “I liked how it went.”

Regina, of course, nodded. “I can’t refrain from dwelling on that moment.”

“You never sat next to me before in class though.” Emma wondered out loud. “Why did you choose to do it?”

The older woman’s reply never was stalled from pondering on the question. “Fate. Perhaps.”

“So you didn’t do it purposely? It just…happened?” However odd the situation might have been, the lack of persuasion on Regina’s part to selectively choose to sit next to her was disappointing. Emma appeared crestfallen.

“I was merely…drawn to you,” the brunette admitted. “I wanted to get to know you more.”

“I’m not that amazing though,” the blonde offered a lopsided smile as they exited the building. “I have one friend. I find it hard to make friends. I’m constantly struggling with my self-esteem because I’m not like other girls. And the worst part of it is, when everyone has an idea of where they want to go in life, I’m not even sure about what I want.”

For a few steps taken after that speech, Regina didn’t provide an answer. Instead, she merely digested the words and allowed feelings to settle. The blonde, was unfolding like a flower in bloom. Slowly but purposely. Without purpose would have been frivolous and a meaningless conversation to indulge in. But Emma was opening up to her and she craved it. Regina longed to know more about the younger woman who seemed to fascinate her as time progressed.

She definitely wasn’t like most girls.

Emma was her own woman who was not afraid of new ideas, opinions and statements. She didn’t live on the reckless side. The blonde stayed away from danger because of the shyness engulfing her from a lack of belief in the wonderfulness encompassing all that she was.

“I’ll tell you something that I have gathered from my twenty eight years on this earth,” Regina said softly as they descended some stone steps into the silent night on campus. “I favor people who are not normal. Those who come with their own unique personalities.”

“You are struggling with your self-esteem because of constantly being surrounded by too many normal people. They are not like you. And therefore, you’re left to feel as if something is wrong with you when the truth is, really and truly, everything else is wrong with them. For many years, I also have been unsure of what I want in life.”

The blonde listened and felt her throat tighten.

“But that’s the best part about life, Emma.” Regina’s shoulder suddenly brushed against the other woman’s arm. “If we are certain of what we want, life becomes duller. Than if we seek out new avenues and try new things. We are always searching for a new flavor in life. And it’s the only way we will discover new tastes. We have to step off of the road and create our own paths. Only then, can we become ourselves.”

Emma was impressed beyond words. To describe how she felt after those two speeches would have been a difficult task. Exactly and utterly overwhelmed, she was. Until the night felt sharper and something began to stir inside of her chest. Something that caused the butterflies to become mildly excited. As they begun to flit around, as if trying to scream out the definition behind such a new feeling, Emma’s right boot slipped over a stone step and she almost lost her balance.

Almost.

Then she felt Regina’s arm around her waist. A firm grasp at first that steadied her from falling further. She was spared from physical harm but caught in a web that severely shook her.

It wasn’t the way the brunette stopped the accident that flustered Emma. But it was the way Emma felt when she was held. So delicately. As one would hold a flower. So weak she had grown. Becoming quite aware of that soft arm remaining around her waist and their bodies entirely close. Knowing fully well that she was considerably within the arms of another woman who wasn’t giving in to letting her go just yet.

She forgot to breathe. Her mind tilted upside down. She felt a tingling feeling travel down her spine and then the little flops an awakening heart made. And just when Emma was growing used to the soft and warmth affection offered by the older woman, Regina let her go.

They walked a few paces in silence. Both of them tasted the adrenaline. Or perhaps, the blonde walked solo in her glory. But for some odd reason, Emma felt that the buzzing inside her chest was mutual. For Regina seemed a little breathless in the seconds that passed from the almost fall to the few steps further taken. Those brown eyes were focused forward but glassy. Deeper thoughts were tumbling around in that brilliant mind of hers. And as much as they tried to ignore glancing at each other, both of them did anyway. They held a gaze. It was the meeting of eyes that lasted for a little too long. Beginning without a smile and ending with flushed cheeks.

By then, they were standing at the edge of the road. Where Emma contemplated whether she was becoming paranoid. Or was she completely sane. Slipping off the edge and tumbling into sanity was what that moment felt like. It was dark down there. At least that is what she truly felt. But the darkness wasn’t comprised of how Regina made her feel. No. The darkness was the uncertainty. Of not knowing. Of being pulled into a sink hole that was cracking open bit by bit as their eyes met.

Obliquely opposite them, was the Faculty of Social Sciences. It was dimly lit under the concrete shed running around the bottom flat.  And two figures sat upon a bench in the shadows though. Emerald eyes recognized the familiar form of her best friend. His hunched form and swinging legs. Still, the other was definitely no other than Killian Jones, who sat upright. Strange. Perhaps they appeared much too close at the moment but then her mind was a bit too fuzzy to take a grasp on reality. However, both of them seemed to be engaged in conversation. An intimate conversation that consisted of prolonged looks exchanged between the two of them.

“I guess…you’re the only other friend I have apart from Robin,” Emma’s tone made her appear nervous. “I mean, it’s hard for me to make friends. They never seem to stick around for long. I think that maybe I’m not that interesting.”

“Emma…” Regina warned in a soft but firm tone. “Stop believing so little in your worth. You are exceptional. Always remember that.”

“I don’t see what you see,” the blonde shrugged. Admitting her flaws was something that had become normal like breathing. She did it often in Robin’s presence.

“If you only could.” Those brown eyes rested on the young woman by her side. “How old are you?”

Emma, of course, sighed. “Twenty one. And you?”

“Twenty eight,” Regina admitted. “You have so much time ahead to learn about yourself.”

“You’re like the one person who gives a shit about me apart from family right now. I don’t know whether to believe that you’re genuine. I feel that you’re genuine,” Emma confessed. She admired how the wind lifted the brunette’s hair a little. “And I’d love to be your friend.

Regina gazed into those emerald eyes. “You’re more than a friend to me, Emma,” she said softly.

The blonde blinked slowly and considered the brunette with an open mind that was severely sparkling from a new sensation. There it was again. Emma honestly believed at that point that the older woman was flirting with her. Or if she wasn’t aware of the intent behind her actions then maybe indeed it was fate that was drawing them together. Because the longer she resided in the brunette’s company, the more she felt deep down inside as if she really was becoming completely paranoid. About their interactions and honesty. About everything.

“I feel like we’re soul mates on different spectrums,” Regina continued. She offered a small smile that was entirely genuine and forever comforting.

Something inside of Emma was changing. “That makes me feel a way that I can’t describe to you. I don’t know what to say.”

“Don’t say anything,” the brunette provided in a softer tone. “Just let me drown in the moment of me saying something that left you absolutely speechless.”

What was that supposed to mean exactly?

There they were, maybe too close in proximity. But nevertheless, their existence in each other’s lives had suddenly taken a turn. Emma was fighting to pull herself out of the swirling emotions. Because around the corner now, after becoming so much more familiar with Regina, she was staring at a whole new world. One that was never dreamt of before. Nor imagined. Nor expected. It was a world where uncertainty grew like a sickly sweet disease. Where her gut was screaming authenticity about the existence of a flirtatious game. But her mind was killing the vibe by being totally realistic.

They both drifted towards Killian and Robin seated on the bench, joking among themselves and talking.

“Miracles do happen,” Emma said to her best friend, thumping him playfully on the shoulder.

Regina, standing a little off from the three, had her full attention focused on no other than the blonde. She sighed. “Yes they do.”

\--

For the one week of semester break to follow; what should have been a delightful few days well spent in absolute leisure, ended up being a fight against anxiety; and nervousness at its best. For Emma felt a crater developing inside her chest like a small cavity after three days. The dull ache of never being able to catch a glance of Regina’s Mercedes Benz swinging into the parking lot slowly grew. Then the crater widened about a millimeter every day as hours spent at home didn’t provide any kind of satisfaction away from studying. And during the nights, she just fell asleep and dreamt of nothing else but the last conversation they had shared.

Over and over again, Emma lived through that night when the brunette broke her fall. And the words they exchanged with each other. Then every single time when they were about to approach Robin and Killian sitting upon the bench, Regina forcefully took a hold of her hand in her blissful dreams. She was pulled along into the shadows across the dimly lit street. They silently stood there for a long time gazing intently at each other. And Emma kept waiting for something climatic to be said. For something to happen. For anything to happen that would prevent her from waking up feeling numb and dizzy.

But nothing ever happened afterwards.

The dream ended and she lived through the rest of the day like a walking zombie.

Robin, at first, noticed the obvious change but didn’t quite dwell on magnifying it all at once. There was a certain part of Emma that didn’t like to be touched when she was deeply affected by something. A part inside her brain that caged itself off and didn’t entertain nosy people. Such as himself, that is. For he had a not so purposeful habit of constantly annoying her until the truth leaked out. However, this wasn’t the kind of situation that would squeeze anything out of his best friend.

She would sit in the same attitude for a long time upon the plush window seat in his chaotic room, and those emerald eyes would become glassy. The book propped up on her lap wasn’t being read at all. Instead, something else was obviously occupying her mind. The racing thoughts were consuming Emma to a point where she zoned his existence out too successfully and he would have to shout her name to be heard.

Since they were younger, the two of them always had an unexplainable connection that could trace inaudible thoughts running through each other’s minds. Her mother used to lament about their constant time spent together as babies allowed them to form a telepathic link. For when Emma would be overwhelmed in a sour mood at a younger age, Robin would suddenly show up at their house with a gallon of ice cream. He always knew when to arrive just in time to cheer her up. And she naturally, provided the same comfort. To be quite honest with himself, he believed that anything severe would affect him more deeply than her. Certain things wound their way into her heart and chewed away at times. And Emma’s response was always to shut down completely.

She wouldn’t let anyone in, including him.

**_Regina._ **

He was sprawled off on his bed, twirling a white iPhone cord around two fingers and all attention was on the blonde. Had to be Regina. The brunette had said something or done something to Emma. Maybe she made a pass at her, who knows. But from what Killian had acknowledged about the older woman, it appeared as if she didn’t exactly swing for the same team. There had been no obvious relationship reveals on campus about Regina. No one really knew anything about her personal life. Except that she was a marketing manager who tackled sales head on. Apart from that, all he had to work with was that night in the library when those brown eyes were glued onto the blonde for a prolonged period.

“Do you have her number?” he was sincere. Breaking the ice had to start somewhere. He believed that the weak spot had a name. And he was about to use it.

“Whose number?” Emma stared at him. When those emerald eyes appeared so huge, she reminded him of their younger days, when those big orbs would gaze at him with pure innocence.

“Regina,” he played his card, slapping it upon the table without regret.

Emma blinked. Her lips parted a little. She swallowed. “No. Why?”

“I asked you to get it for me,” was all he said, studying every part of her face that moved because of a slight emotion. “Don’t tell me you didn’t get it.”

“I…shit,” she seemed to snap out of her own world. The blonde sighed. “I totally forgot.” Naturally, eye contact was avoided, to which suspicion grew.

“Well I have obtained Killian’s number,” Robin said with a shrug.

Emma, however, turned a page and smiled a little. “Of course you did.”

“What does that mean, exactly?” he frowned, and sounded terribly affected as if cornered.

The blonde however, barely glanced at him before returning to her book. “Nothing. Geez. I know you’d get it for me. That’s what I meant.”

“And do you really want it?” He tried, observing her every move. As funny as it seemed, Emma had become his case study for the moment. “I mean, you seem terribly occupied with _Regina_.”

She, at once, lifted her eyes and sent him a hard stare. But then, something changed. Her features softened. And she let out a small laugh. “Yeah, we’re friends.”

“Is that all you are?”

“Yeah, Robin,” she seemed offended now. “That’s all we are. What’s gotten into you all of a sudden?”

“What’s gotten into _you_?” he frowned. “PMSing?”

“Asshole,” she took up a blue round pillow and tossed it at him.

It landed upon his lap and he snatched it up. “I hate when you’re in period mode and I don’t have chocolates to feed the beast.”

“I do not have my period,” she stated in a stern tone, appearing cross. “I’m just handling some shit right now and I need to do it on my own, okay?”

Obviously, he was wounded. He always was when she chose to block him out. Of course they didn’t need to discuss everything about their personal lives with each other. But at times, when Emma fell really low, he felt the need to console her. To help her. To somehow soothe her worries away. However, being shut out hurt even more than at least sending him a hint or two.

“Okay, mate,” he gave up. “Was just asking if you have Regina’s number because you could invite her to the Barbeque your parents are hosting this weekend. But since you don’t have it…”

“I have it,” Emma said without meeting his eyes. “I mean, I wrote it down somewhere.”

“Where?” his interest was piqued now.

She sighed. “In this brochure the Peer2Peer group gave me.”

“Then why write it down and then object to sharing with me?”

“Because I just remembered.” Emma’s forehead was lined from being entirely frustrated. “I’ll give it to you soon.”

“I’d like the number now, please,” he enjoyed teasing her. Robin was poking the bear with a stick. But he could handle the aftermath. “If you don’t mind.”

“When I’m finished with the chapter,” she turned a page smoothly.

“I’d like it now.”

“Just wait.”

“Now.”

“No.”

“Where is it? I’ll search for it myself.”

“It’s in my bag between my notes in the pink folder. Jesus Christ. Grow up.” She growled and sunk lower into the seat. Completely turning herself away from him, Emma buried her nose into the book and continued reading.

Robin, at once, sprang up and dove for the blonde’s yellow shoulder bag. This would be the perfect time to dig through the girly stuff but he had outgrown the urge to paw through her belongings just to discover something intriguing. Now, he went straight for the pink folder and flipped through the pages. As promised, the brochure peeked out and after tugging it from between the rest of pages, Robin searched for the number.

By the time he flopped onto the bed again, his phone was already out. It wasn’t his barbeque to begin with, so naturally, inviting Regina to the event would be out of order. So Robin did the next best thing, believing his gut and wondering how in the world he could be encouraging something that felt so out of sorts. He sent a polite text to Regina and offered up Emma’s cell number.

When Robin finally completed the mischievous deed, he regretted it. For some odd reason, he believed the root of the problem resided in no other than the brunette. That she had done something. Jealousy sprung up a few times within the hour that followed. But then, he realized that it was ridiculous to even assume that Emma would and could replace him for he was like her brother in all respects. They knew so much about each other that nothing or no one could overshadow.

Later that evening when they were safe and secure within their own bedrooms, Emma’s incoming call disturbed his yoga session. Wiping his forehead after groaning, Robin turned down the soft tunes and answered.

“You ass,” was her greeting. “You unbelievable idiot. How could you?”

“First of all,” he approached the window and pushed it up further, “my ass is unbelievably sexy.” A light wind coolly soothed his face. “Secondly, I am the sexiest idiot you have ever been familiar with…”

“You gave her my number!” Emma was breathless on the other end. Her voice cracked a little.

“Who? The tooth fairy?” He was smiling.

“Regina, you idiot!”

“I’m offended that you’ve referred to me as an idiot two times now. But bloody hell yes I did. And I feel fabulous because of doing the dirty deed.”

Emma sighed. She mumbled something. He could hear her retreating from further insults on the other end. How could he do this to her? Now, she was faced with a dilemma that was slowly swelling into something highly alarming.

“So what did she tell you?” he was curious. “About me, I mean…”

“Nothing about you. She didn’t even know it was you who texted her. I figured it out because of the obvious. Now she’s sent me ‘hi, how are you’ and a ‘what are you doing’ on WhatsApp and I don’t know what to say.” Would have been delightful to perhaps continue a friendly conversation with the brunette. But because of further hysterics of her own, that alone was difficult.

“How about the truth? It’s not so hard. You’re fine. You’re masturbating with a pink vibrator. That’s all she needs to know.”

“For fuck’s sake,” Emma was seriously losing it now. But she laughed anyway. “When are you ever going to grow up?”

“When I’m at least fifty and about to retire. Even then, I’ll be eating Fruit Loops without milk and a bib will rest snugly around my neck.”

The truth of the matter was that as simple as it all could appear to anyone, the blonde’s mind was being tossed around in a blender. The wind had shifted and her carefree heart was now drifting further along a newfound current that seemed to possibly lead to a mysterious ending. There was something so different about Regina. Something that seemed to capture the blonde and reel her slowly into a world that didn’t seem familiar at all. A world where everything appeared new and unchartered and still…intriguing. For as much as she would sit in her own dreams day after day, Emma couldn’t shake the feeling that she just couldn’t entertain the idea of Regina being merely a friend.

\--

On the day of the BBQ, the afternoon sun was warming the trees and lush grass in the garden behind Emma’s house. Refreshing, the air seemed to be. Buzzing with activity and excitement as family and friends gathered from near and further out of town.

David was working the smoking grill, decked out in a white t-shirt with the words ‘ _I’m the Grill Master’_ plastered in red at the front. Snow was flitting about like the social butterfly she was, entertaining the latest gossip.

Emma, having just entered the already clustered backyard, dressed in a pair of khaki long pants with a red floral patterned blouse, immediately spotted Robin waving at her by the side gate. Strange. He had excused himself from the event because of prior events. By then, expected her friend to be in a practice session for the music club.

“Changed your mind?” she jogged over and asked, as the two of them found themselves separated from the crowd.

Robin, was handsomely dressed in a dark green and blue plaid shirt with blue jeans. He seemed somewhat flustered though. As if contemplating something rather unsettling. “I have a dilemma. And I need your help.”

“Shoot,” she said, folding her arms. “If it has anything to do with aliens then I’m going to pass. That UFO documentary last night still has me spooked.”

“Nah, it’s…” he ran his fingers through light brown hair and provided her with a look of uncertainty, “…rather unbecoming of me to even keep this from you. So here I am with the news…that I’m not going to make a mockery of the talent show this year. In fact, I’m ashamed to announce that I’m taking part in it.”

“As a what?” She stared at him, fully aware that they had regrettably attended each show for the last two years, purposely to giggle at the participants. “A judge?”

“I’m going to be doing a musical rendition.” He confessed the truth and awaited the verdict with his arms folded.

For a few seconds, Emma merely considered him with a confused expression on her face. “But I thought you said that you’d never play again?”

“I found some inspiration. Killian…and I are going to perform a piece.”

She stared now, bewildered. It was unbelievable news! Had he just announced that no other than Jones was to accompany him into the talent show?

“Killian?” she found it rather strange that all of a sudden, the two of them decided to partake in such a thing together. “You’re pulling my leg, right?”

“I’m not,” Robin shrugged. He threw a glance at the gathering in her backyard and admired how Emma’s family reunited in peace and love. “You’re the one who told me to work things out with him. So I’m doing that. He’s not a bad egg after all. Just a bit complicated.”

“Sounds like you’re developing a man crush on him,” she considered his face carefully whilst smiling. Something barely touched his countenance. But he contained himself just enough to return the smile.

“Just as you’re becoming particularly fond of the woman now approaching behind you.”

“Huh?” she frowned and spun around. And then her heart skipped a beat.

An invitation had been extended. Sure. One that was perhaps sent with no hopes of the brunette even considering it.

Emma, felt as if she would literally dissolve into a puddle sinking between the grasses when those emerald eyes found Regina nearing her. Gracefully, of course and with a sweet smile resting on that very pretty face. If any revelation was to be formed from the sudden encounter, then Robin would be seated in the front row.

In fact, everything bustling and flitting around her slowly disappeared into nothingness. Sounds were gradually muted. Then there was that awful buzzing within her chest that felt overwhelming. As if the feelings inside of her heart were so utterly confusing, all of the question marks became little bombs. And she couldn’t even produce a smile as the older woman did so effortlessly. Instead, Emma found herself staring and speechless.

“Surprised?” Regina closed the distance between them. She was decked out in a red knee length long sleeved dress. Made from the kind of material that hugged every single curve. Her black flat knee high boots completed the sexiest attire the blonde could ever imagine.

She couldn’t say a word as yet. Not a syllable. Emma stood there and felt as if the two weeks they hadn’t seen each other felt an eternity. All the days and nights and hours and minutes spent staring at her phone. Hoping that the answers would come. Hoping she would find some kind of key to unravel everything that was confusing her about the older woman. Nothing happened. Until now, she was face to face with the brunette and dumbfounded. Realizing that perhaps, something inside of her had changed.

“Where is Robin off to?” Regina frowned as her eyes followed the retreating figure. He had left with a wave.

“I…” Emma turned to consider her best friend leaving and stumbled around for words still. “Hmm.”

A few seconds elapsed. Nothing was said still. Until their eyes found each other. Brown ones were pinched from a genuine smile. Whilst emerald ones remained wide and dazed.

“Emma, are you okay?” Regina took the blonde’s right wrist into her grasp. No. Not this. Not the simple but honest touch that genuinely suggested an abundance of care for her. Not today. Not right now.

“I’m just thirsty.” And gently tugging away her hand, the younger woman headed to the table containing an assortment of refreshments.

It wasn’t supposed to unfold this way. This sudden collision that hadn’t been anticipated.

Naturally, Snow swooped in like a friendly hawk and tackled all introductions with the newcomer. Where she was from, how was she familiar with her daughter. What kind of job Regina managed from day to day. All of this was done within a span of the five minutes it took for Emma to pour herself a cup of Coke and swallow it in three gulps. She helped herself to another cup. Then another.

And then sucking it up, gathering as much composure as possible, although it was a thin sliver, she then approached with tentative steps.

“Emma has a huge crush on Jennifer Lopez,” the blonde heard from her mother.

It was amazing how the brunette seemed to become so suitable for any kind of setting. Appearing so comfortable. Without any hint of awkwardness that would have attacked the blonde, had the roles been reversed.

“She has posters of so many female singers and actresses on her bedroom walls,” Snow was divulging sparingly with glee. “Sandra Bullock. The Bangles. Cate Blanchett. Angelina Jolie.”

“Mom,” Emma rolled her eyes. This was exactly the kind of mother she had been gifted with.

“You know, I always tell her father. I wouldn’t be surprised if she ended up being gay. She was never a girly girl. But we love her just the same for it. I…”

A flash of anger sparked in those emerald eyes. Regina noticed it and felt rather terrible when Emma stormed off.

“But I didn’t mean anything by it…” Snow began apologetically.

Regina, however, felt that the conversation had progressed into murky territories. “I’m sure you didn’t. Allow me to sparingly console her.”

When she managed to discover Emma’s serene hideaway, the brunette approached the setting cautiously. Noting how those shoulders slumped as the conflicted blonde sat with her feet curled up on a blue and white chair swing set. The canvas material strained a little from her weight. But nevertheless, what remained as a definite strain was Regina’s worry.

Emma had hoped that everything would disappear. The BBQ. Her world. Wishing that time would stand still. To sit there in solace whilst this chaotic world of hers ceased to rotate on its axis. And sparing just enough time to guiltily drown in the combusting ball she was trapped in.

Now, when her emerald eyes drifted towards the older woman, she silently thought that maybe everything would be silent and still when they were together and no one else was around. When it was just the two of them and nothing else to intervene. For as soon as their eyes met, Emma found the kind of serenity that consumed her inside a cloak of comfortable love.

Regina smiled reassuringly and awaited the invitation to approach. When the blonde inclined her head to signal that it was okay, the older woman slowly lowered herself onto the chair as it swung a little on its hinges.

For a long time neither of them said a word to each other. And still, nothing felt awkward or tense between them. Just…perfect.

It was so perfect to Emma, that she began to realize something. Something that deeply troubled her about everything that she had believed in herself. That she believed herself to be. All the certainty about what she wanted. About what she hoped for. All of it was shifting and changing. And her heart was the cause of it. Her heart was croaking and unfolding like a flower in slow bloom.

“I wanted to ask you to accompany me on a shopping spree last Wednesday,” Regina began in a softer tone, crossing her boots at the ankles. “But I was uncertain.”

Emma smiled. Then bit her lips. They were sitting so close to each other. There was an inch between them now. And still she could feel how something had changed between them. For when they had been sitting close before in Econs class, those little bolts of warmth didn’t travel down her arms and legs. There had been the absence of that tingly feeling on their first encounter. That night when the butterflies had been there though, she hadn’t been sure of what it all meant.

Now, Emma was slowly beginning to realize that she had never felt this way about a boy before. The feelings they described in the books she read and the way characters responded in the movies and television shows she watched. Now, she was becoming lost in a blissful moment. With a very beautiful woman who was older than her. A moment that was new and dangerous and exhilarating.

“You didn’t want me to come?” Regina’s voice broke her thoughts. “Is that it? Did I overstep my boundary?” She sounded wounded.

“No,” Emma immediately said, shaking her head. “You didn’t. It’s okay. I asked you to come.”

“You’re not talking to me,” the brunette croaked. The leaves rustled in the trees around them. Snow’s flower garden carried many sweet scents.

The blonde sighed. “I’m just not myself today.”

“I know.” Regina took the younger woman’s fingers between hers and gently squeezed them. “I want you back.”

Immediately, Emma forgot how to breathe. She gazed at the gesture and waited. There it was again. The dire need to touch her. To somehow prolong the agony.

“Why don’t you ever answer my calls?” The brunette wanted to know.

The younger woman could literally feel how her fingers were burning up, becoming sweaty from being contained within Regina’s hand. And she was ashamed of being found out. Of being exposed to be the owner of sweaty palms and hands.

“I’m just not a big fan of talking to people on the phone. I prefer texting. Most times, I’m just too socially awkward to know what to say. It’s like, I’m scared of what will happen when someone stops talking and we run out of topics. I’m rambling,” she shook her head and felt stupid. “Sorry.”

“No,” Regina smiled. “I like that. You’re becoming yourself again. I like when you ramble.”

“I’m weird,” Emma said with a shrug.

But the brunette leaned in a little until their shoulders were touching. “I’m weird too. I named my cat Kitty, remember?”

Immediately, the blonde snorted. And soft giggles ensued. She tried to conceal her reaction behind curled up fingers but courageously, Regina caught the younger woman’s hand into hers. It was all too pure to understand how fascinating the heart works. Beating away and then coming to a standstill. And it was a direct consequence of these connections being made by Regina. With their eyes connected, she was now holding both of Emma’s hands.

Now, the actuality of the situation terribly moved her. For the blonde realized how absolutely moved she was. By the mere gesture of someone gently holding her hands, that she stopped laughing.

“This morning, I found Kitty curled up on the stove. She finds the oddest places to sleep,” Regina continued the conversation and Emma stared at her for lacking the nervousness that had consumed the blonde. “Inside the empty washing machine. Under the sink. Inside the shower. One time, I found her sleeping on top of the door.”

“I need to meet her.”

“You will. Sooner than later I hope.”

“My family can get really loud sometimes,” Emma said as laughter erupted from behind the house. “Aunt Ruby never has a dull moment. Her wife usually has to tame her down after one drink.”

“Your aunt is married to a woman?” Regina seemed intrigued.

The blonde nodded and felt her chest shake a little. “Yeah. She’s my mom’s best friend. She’s also my god mother.”

“That’s interesting.”

“Why? You’re not homophobic, are you?”

“Of course not,” Regina shook her head. “I’m just surprised that your mother introduced me to her and for some odd reason my gaydar did not feed me any hints.”

Emma blinked. She swallowed, eyes still focused on the flower garden in front of her. “Your gaydar?” she asked, immediately feeling her heart stand still again.

“Indeed.”

“You’re…gay?” The blonde forgot how to breathe. By then, her hands had been released by the older woman but nevertheless, she still felt all there was in the entirety of the moment.

“Yes I am,” Regina confessed in a level tone. “I really don’t know how to tell Robin. It might crush him.”

Emma was still lost in thoughts about that one word.

Could it be even remotely possible that her mental abilities had perhaps detected something beforehand? Had been hinting that this could be the inevitable outcome? That all of her conflicting feelings and the need to lean towards a definition as more than friends had been part of this…situation that was not normal. It wasn’t normal at all. Because as the blonde sat there with these thoughts swirling around inside her brain, she realized that for the first time ever, the truth was coming to light. And the truth revolved around Regina suddenly announcing that she was into women and not men.

Not Robin. Most definitely not him. They never would be. The entire game to set the two of them up together had been flawed from the beginning without either of the best friends even considering the possibility of a dead end. And it was no wonder why Regina didn’t pay any interests in him. Didn’t lean closer to him or try to discover his motives. Instead, as Emma debated on the whole ploy, she realized that the brunette had been most obviously inclined to her.

“Emma?” Regina, again, seemed to find the sense of touch to be exemplary in portraying her interests. She planted her hand softly upon the blonde’s thigh. “Have I lost you again?”

“Are you hungry?” the younger woman’s voice seemed unsteady. As much as she tried to clear her throat, the obvious had already managed to slip out. For immediately, what she provided to the brunette was a definite display of uneasiness about the topic they had been discussing.

“I…most definitely am,” Regina said, studying the blonde’s face. “Are you?”

“I am.” Instantaneously, Emma sprang up. “Let’s go grab a plate.”

“Okay…”

And without awaiting a further string of words to follow, the younger woman proceeded to walk along the side of the house and into the backyard.

It wasn’t until Snow delivered a cup of fruit juice to the brunette when she discovered that Emma was nowhere to be seen. David, exiting the house from the backdoor, was asked whether he had noticed the blonde. All of this conversation took place in front of Regina, who was neatly scooping food into her mouth and chewing with a few worried lines etched upon her forehead. For she had begun to wonder about the younger woman’s behavior. And now with this sudden disappearance, an explanation was needed as to whether her presence at the event was the sole reason or not.

“She’s just gone upstairs. She said something about making a call.” David spared, whilst clutching the spatula caked in sauce.

“Oh the horror,” Snow dramatically made a face and glanced at Regina. “Of inviting a friend, only to leave her alone.”

“It’s fine, really,” the older woman said with a small smile. “I’m fine.”

However, after half an hour had passed by and the blonde didn’t show up, she took it upon herself to finally explore the situation. With a fresh pair of eyes, Regina entered the house and quietly but respectfully placed her attention on the details that followed. A lovely caramel colored interior with brown wood furniture. Small but cozy kitchen and a flight of steps leading up into the top flat.

Should she even dare to break the rule of privacy and wander up there?

Regina, thought it best to maybe wait downstairs. Because going upstairs would be a bit too intrusive. A bit too bold. And this early in their familiarity with each other, she hadn’t the faintest idea as what was bothering Emma. The younger woman refused to speak to her about things. She was so secretive. Refusing to let the brunette in. And she had every reason to not let her in.

Emma sat in silent vigil upon her unkempt bed, staring through the opened window.

She had been in the same attitude for the past thirty minutes or so. She had been contemplating if to return downstairs or lock herself away from the world until everything returned to normal.

But what was normal?

She wasn’t quite sure anymore. Now, here was a situation where her heart was quickly becoming tangled with another woman’s and even though her mind was taking forever to catch up, the time ticked by. The minutes screamed for action. Regina was downstairs, waiting for her to return again and she could not go down there and pretend to be alright after what had transpired between them. About the brunette admitting that she was gay and the constant need to touch Emma. To hold her. To somehow transfer a weight of meaning onto someone who lacked the knowledge or the expertise in that area.

Trying Robin’s phone for the tenth time, the blonde’s call went straight to voicemail. She needed him. Needed his advice since he had initiated this.

“Where the hell are you?” Emma stared at her phone and kept the tears at bay. “You’re always there when I need you and you’re not here now. Dammit.”

Deciding that she would perhaps steal downstairs and stand in the front yard a bit, just to breathe in some fresh air, the younger woman slowly descended the stairs. You can just imagine her surprise when she discovered Regina seated upon one of the chairs in the living room.

She appeared tense. Her brown eyes widened when the two of them were familiar with each other’s presence. And immediately, the older woman rose up and went forth, wringing her hands and frowning.

“Emma, I need to speak to you.”

“I’m actually supposed to be outside,” the blonde provided hastily. She gestured to the backdoor. “I shouldn’t keep my mom waiting.”

“Emma,” Regina rushed forward and took a hold of the younger woman’s right wrist. That was enough to draw back the blonde, who stalled without making eye contact.

Inhaling deeply, she stared hard at the backdoor and willed it to suck her outside with some kind of magnetic force. But it didn’t. Instead, she was gently tugged into the living room by the one person she had hoped to not be left alone with.

The chair she chose to sit down on, Regina selected the same one and placed herself nearer than desired. Of course, the grand effect was the purposeful glancing towards the kitchen, fearing that her mother would come in and catch the two of them together alone. Then, all suspicions would arise as to her prolonged life without a steady boyfriend. And the dire need for further humiliation about becoming a simpleton without a grandchild to provide her mother with. Snow was always pressing for that one thing. As if it was going to be Emma’s biggest accomplishment in life.

“Talk to me,” the brunette said softly, positioning herself upon the chair so that they were facing each other. “Is this about Robin? Did you two have a fight? Or is this about what your mother said about your room and your sexuality?”

“Nah,” Emma shook her head and frowned. She sighed. “Nah it’s not any of those. I wish it was though.”

“Then what is this about? Your constant downcast behavior? Is this about me?”

For a long time, Emma did not provide an answer. And Regina clearly received her silence as the truest reply.

Feeling entirely miserable about herself all of a sudden, the brunette’s lips quivered slightly as she collected her wits. “Okay then. As it seems that I’m the problem here, I’ll just simply…” Regina stood up, “…leave you be. I apologize for accepting the invite. It’s clear now that you have no desire to entertain me. For I seem to be the one person you cannot stand being familiar with. Good evening.”

“No, wait,” Emma croaked, and she flew up from the couch. Straining to find words, the blonde blinked many times. She only realized afterwards that she was trying to keep the tears at bay. “I don’t want you to leave. I mean…I don’t want you to feel that you’re not wanted here. I invited you. I don’t want you to go.”

Regina, slowly turned around and considered the younger woman with saddened eyes. “It’s a long drive back home for me since I’m living out of state. I should be leaving.”

Emma nodded. She bit her lips and tried as hard as she could to appear composed.

What felt like an hour passed between them as the brunette gazed at the blonde and the latter studied the ground. The carpet was perfectly fine with its green shade. The color reminded her father of freshly mown grass. Something his mother loved the scent of. But perhaps all energy was being placed into ignoring Regina and she wished not to remain in the younger woman’s presence anymore.

Regina, felt her throat tighten as she headed to the front door. “Say goodbye to your parents for me. Do enjoy the rest of the afternoon.”

“If you only knew,” Emma suddenly began in a small voice as the brunette took a hold of the round knob on the door, “how hard it is for me right now. You wouldn’t even understand. I’m confused and scared and totally about to cry. And I don’t know what the hell to say to you. I really don’t.”

“How about the truth?” Regina said in a softer tone now. “How about telling me how you feel since I am not a monster? I am not going to hurt you. I am not the kind of woman who will ever spare you a bad word without reflection first on the damage that could be done. There you are, building a wall to keep me out. And all I want to do is to be let in.”

“I don’t know what this means,” Emma’s face contorted as she fought the urge to cry still. “Okay? I’ve never felt like this. Ever.”

“How do you feel?” Brown eyes widened a little. Could it be possible?

“Like it’s new. Like the way I’m supposed to feel about a guy. Like Killian. Or even Robin. And I don’t feel this way about them. I don’t feel…raw inside or like I’m crumbling.”

“Do you hate the feeling change brings?” Regina asked whilst holding her breath.

Emma didn’t dare skip a beat. “I don’t like the way things are when it happens.”

“Then how will you ever find what makes you truly happy?” Regina took one step closer to Emma. “Hmm?”

“By doing the same things I do and hoping someone will love me that way,” the blonde admitted.

“I don’t want you to change,” Regina said softly. “I’m falling in love with the person you are. As you are. If you could only see yourself from my point of view,” the brunette smiled. “Then you will understand why I want you. And why I admire you so much.”

Emma was staring with her eyes widened. She was utterly surprised. This was new. She hadn’t been expecting this.

“You’re…in love with me?” was all she could ask.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Regina, smiled. “I really must go, dear. It’s getting dark outside. I’d like you to message me. I’ll see you on Monday in class. Until then…” She wanted to hug her. Really wanted to. But Emma was standing there as if contained in her own bubble. As awkward as it seemed, the blonde was not dwelling too well in the truth of the moment.

“You’re just going to leave me like this?” Emma asked softly.

But Regina had already slipped into the late evening without sparing another free minute.

Two hours later, the blonde retreated to her bedroom. From there, she curled up on the window seat and awaited Robin’s arrival. Hoping that he would at least be the one to console her. Even after the hurricane, something was still not settling well. Maybe it was the change and the definition of it. The possible conflicts still brewing and the what ifs.

By nine o’clock, a black Jaguar pulled up near the curb and as the engine hummed, there was movement within. Someone was hugging the other. Then laughing, Robin hopped out and Emma’s mouth hung agape when she realized who the driver was. It was Killian, with his hand outstretched. He collected Robin’s hand into his. The two of them laughed some more and then, bid each other a good night.

She was frozen upon the window seat. Emma felt cold. For it was now obvious that the two of them had become awfully close and absolutely the bestest of friends. When she had needed him, so desperately, Robin had been with Jones.

Before he drifted towards the house next door though, his eyes rested upon her window. Smoothly, the blonde ducked out of sight and hugged her pillow. Not now. Not when he was keeping secrets from her. Maybe, she would choose to spend a lonely night within her room. A night where her phone’s display lit up in the dark room constantly from incoming messages. And the tears came like a dam overflowing after breaking down.

There were times when even Emma did not understand her truest feelings. How certain things deeply affected her and others really didn’t. Sometimes her mother never understood her temperaments. Her father did though. But he wasn’t the type to approach the situation with suggestive words because most times, Emma never wanted to divulge any kind of information. She would shut down as Robin realized. Close down the conversation and drift away into her own mind.

Now, she was so dreadfully alone for the first time, her heart craved to spill out the contents onto someone else. Her mind was screaming. A headache brewed, a dull throbbing behind her forehead and as much as she tried to swallow the fears seeping through the surface, all of them spilled out.

Up to that moment shared with them in the hallway, Emma honestly believed that what she had been feeling deep down inside was one sided. That her growing interest in Regina was definitely not mutual. That was the most frightful factor of it all. The one demon that left her conflicted… Because she had slowly begun to believe she was delusional. Swimming in paranoia. And hopelessness. Knowing that for the first time in her life, she was becoming infatuated with an older woman and possibly, that older woman was not remotely going to be interested in her.

But now, there was the known fact of mutuality existing. She wasn’t alone in this. She shouldn’t feel terrible at all. However, Emma began to silently wonder, or rather, torture herself into wondering what the hell Regina could ever see in her. What was so special about her? Why would a woman, who was a successful manager, and a beautiful woman, why would she fall for an awkward, and simple girl like her? And above all, why not some other woman? Why not some other prettier woman who walked the face of the earth?

There she sat upon the window seat doing the same thing Robin always detested her for. Doubting her self-worth. Her heart. The abilities she had to draw in and love the best in people. It’s what Regina had noticed. Her pure heart. And there she was, wondering why the brunette loved her for that very reason.

\--

Sunday rolled by. Then it was Monday.

Even though messages were sent on WhatsApp from Regina, Emma replied to all of them as briefly as she ever could. Which was never something the blonde did. She was always the type to elaborate and ramble on and on. Until now. The faucet had been turned off and a slow drip was escaping.

Now, as she dreaded Economics class after semester break, the blonde realized that it had been a Monday when they first became acquainted with each other. Talking about Kitty and their professor reminding them of a fish in a suit.

She had been avoiding Robin. It didn’t appear as if he was concerned at all. Sunday had passed with one message and when he collected lunch at the backdoor, the two of them smiled at each other and parted ways. Now, he was suddenly ringing her phone as she tried to calm those shaking nerves from being on campus.

“My bloody parents are fighting again,” was his first words when she answered the call. “Whole day yesterday, Em. I took my lunch and rode away on my bike. All the way down to South Beach.”

“And you didn’t ask me to go?” She wouldn’t have agreed to accompany him anyway, had he asked.

“I needed some time alone to think about a few things. I wanted to ask you but I would have been in a grumpy mood. Can I sleep over by you tonight? We can watch reruns of Bad Girls. Or Wentworth. Whichever one you fancy. Let’s have cups of tea and those tiny butter cookies.”

“Sure,” she pinched her forehead as the lecture hall came into view. Just the thought of walking in there was nerve wrecking. “Let yourself in. I should be home by nine. Why aren’t you on campus though?”

Robin sighed. “If you only knew. I’m avoiding Killian.”

“Why?”

“That’s a conversation we need to have in person and with loads of ice cream between us both.”

She actually smiled, desiring the same thing at that moment. “Later alligator.”

“Later mate.”

She ended the call just as her sneakers began to move across the tiled floors of the lecture hall. A seat in the back. That was her aim. To sit down as far as possible from the front of the class and conceal her identity. Hoping that no one would notice her.

Emma slid into a chair, pulled out her notebook and kept those emerald eyes onto the pages of her notebook whilst everyone filed in. The bursting groups of conversation drifted towards her. Here and there. A few persons said hello to before sitting down as well. And between the glances she stole around the room, there was no sign of the brunette.

Mister Sanchez breezed in with his thick volume of Micro Economics and a few papers. “Good evening everyone. Good semester break?” There were a few mumbles here and there. “Alright, back to the books. I’d like to begin with some note taking.”

For what seemed like eternity, Emma scrawled upon four pages about Monopolies and Duopolies. She found it hard to concentrate. Very hard. Until Elliott probably did the one thing that prevented her from of course, living in her own bubble just for one day at least.

“Group assignment. In pairs of twos.” He shook out a sheet of paper dramatically, and peered at it above his glasses. Then through it. “I’ll call out the names as follows. Deodat with Narine. Kesler with Parris. Andrews with Hilton. Marks with King.”

“Fucking hell,” came the guy sitting next to her. “I’m walking out of here. I don’t want to be paired with a pussy like Marks.” It was David. He was a basketball team leader with all the good looks that was required for the role of being the show boy on campus. “I’m out of here,” he winked at Emma.

She watched him go, chin cupped into her palm and elbow propped on the table.

“Singh with Smith. Swan and Mills.”

No way.

Emma felt as if she was melting onto the ground. Was it possible to worm herself out of this mess? Those emerald eyes peered around to detect any movement from Regina. But apparently the brunette was selectively absent from class. Perfect. But somewhat dreadful, as her heart sighed and sunk lower.

Maybe she was hoping for them to meet. Maybe she was being completely unreasonable. But what the heart wants, the mind refuses to comply with. What she wanted was love and understanding and genuine conversations. And now, there would be nothing like that.

The sound of heels behind her went unnoticed though. Until someone preferred to sit next to where she was. Sliding into the chair just beside hers. And instantly of course, she caught a whiff of that painfully familiar perfume; that flowery and sweet scent. And Emma literally thought her heart would explode from dread, and fear and joy all at once.

“Hi,” Regina barely glanced at her before parting her red notebook.

The first thing Emma detected was the hoarseness in the older woman’s voice. It was deeper. As if she had been…

“Hi,” was all she said, searching Regina’s face and noticing that under those brown eyes were slightly dark from a lack of sleep.

She was in her usual attire for work. But the collar of her white shirt wasn’t as perfectly fixed as expected. And it was something that immediately identified to Emma that something was terribly wrong with the older woman. For she wasn’t as jovial as usual. She was…instead…as downcast as the blonde was.

Elliott, appeared and broke up her concentration on the brunette with the substantial case study. “DigiTech and Cellink,” he said to them.

For what seemed like three minutes, nothing was said between the two of them. Until the rest of the groups were busy getting into discussion and suddenly Emma fund herself craving some kind of conversation.

“It says here that we have to list the advantages of the duopolies and then the disadvantages. Should we start with DigiTech?” Her pen remained poised over her notebook as those emerald eyes considered Regina.

“Sure,” came the brunette’s soft reply.

“Um,” Emma felt her heart breaking as the older woman continued to stay out of character, “so…DigiTech offers landline and Cellink doesn’t.”

Regina jotted it down without saying a word. It was painful. So painful, those green eyes darkened from a terrible ball of hurt forming inside her.

“What about the bundles?” the blonde asked softly.

“What about them?” Regina sniffed and wiped her nose before considering the case study on the paper.

“Are you okay?” Emma frowned deeply. Although fully being aware that the cause may be.

“Have a cold,” the brunette provided without making eye contact. “Runny nose.”

“You’ve been crying,” the blonde said softly. The actuality of it broke her into two. “You don’t have to lie to me. I can tell.”

For a full minute, both of them said nothing. Instead, the world rolled by around them. Their hearts continued to strain after every beat and even holding their breaths couldn’t deny the fact that they simply couldn’t be labelled as just friends anymore. That the likelihood of being friends after expensive moments laced with so much feelings was

“Cellink offers more data than DigiTech,” Regina finally said. “Their call rates are also cheaper.”

“Regina.”

“Cellink also sponsors Kiddies Soccer. It counts as social responsibility.”

“Regina.”

“What.” The brunette croaked. She bit her red stained lips and studied the paper instead. Fingers curled around an ear as she tucked dark strands behind it. Evidently, she was struggling to hold herself together and it wasn’t going unnoticed by the blonde.

“Look at me, okay?” Emma asked in a painful tone.

“We have to finish this.”

“Screw the paper,” Emma said in frustration. It was enough to warrant those brown eyes resting on her finally. “If you took the time to even look at me since you came here to sit down, then you would have seen that I’ve been crying too. I’m messed up right now. I couldn’t sleep. I can’t eat. I’m going crazy about this. About you.”

Regina offered her a strained expression. “Ditto. You didn’t answer my calls. You reply to my messages with two words maximum.”

“I didn’t know what I was supposed to say to you,” Emma whispered with as much passion as possible. “I was so scared of this being a joke. Of none of this being real and that I was going to say the wrong thing to you and you’d just leave. Or worst, realize that I’m not the person you think I am. And you’d walk away.”

“So you took it upon yourself, you made the decision for both of us to avoid the topic at whatever cost.” Regina stared at her. “Did you ever consider how deeply affected I am by all of this? How it is possible that I am scared too? I am out of my mind crazy about you and every word you confess to me or send me on your phone. It is beyond my understanding how I have been honest in my affections towards you and yet there is so much doubt on your side.” Every word had been pronounced with enough strain and emotion.

“It’s not that I don’t feel the same about you,” Emma said with an unsteady voice. “It’s just that I don’t understand how you can even love me.”

The silence that followed afterwards was tinged with so much confusion. Brown eyes narrowed as the older woman’s brows knitted.

“What?” Regina merely frowned. “Forgive me, but I don’t understand.”

“I’m shit.” The blonde’s eyes filled with tears in frustration. “I mean, are you blind?”

“I most certainly am not.” Regina admitted. Her brows furrowing more. “Perhaps you will equip me with the qualities about you I have been ignorant upon noticing.”

“Look at me. I’m not pretty at all. I don’t even have a supermodel body like you do. You’re so perfect and I’m not. I’m just…” the blonde batted away some tears and weakly gathered up her bag. Then taking up her book, Emma sniffed. “Do yourself a favor and just don’t expect the best from me.”

“Emma,” Regina attempted to take a hold of the younger woman’s arm but she slipped away, and headed to the exit. Quickly as she could manage it, the brunette grabbed her things and followed. Elliott didn’t see them leave. He was busy admiring himself in a pocket mirror.

“Two times we talked. Two,” Emma said as she quickly walked under the lighted corridor. Regina was a few inches behind. “I can remember them. The first time in that very same class. The second after the Peer2Peer group session. And I don’t understand how you could even find me that interesting or attractive enough to fall for me.”

“Stop it. Stop this,” Regina grabbed her arm and they came to a standstill. There weren’t anyone around thank goodness, due to the majority of classes already in session. “Why are you doing this to yourself? Why are you falling so dangerously low, that it is impossible to comprehend the depth of my admiration for you?”

“Because maybe I’ve never had anyone claim to love me like this before you,” Emma said hoarsely. “There were guys. They wanted one thing obviously. I’ve just never had someone come up to me, and be so bold with me.”

“Well I’m the first and for fuck’s sake, I have no regrets,” the brunette spread out her arms and scoffed. “I’ll pursue you now more than ever, after becoming knowledgeable of the world lacking terribly in relation to you realizing your worth. Had I known this before…then I wouldn’t have ever stopped myself. I honestly believed that you didn’t feel the same about me.”

Emma stood there, and she still felt confusion. She could feel her heart beating so terribly fast. As fast as it ever could go.

“I thought that maybe you were inclined towards Robin.”

“Eew,” Emma said, “hell’s no.”

“And then I thought that you believed me to a pedophile or some awful person. Even after I told you Saturday that I am gay, I felt how your mind changed. And I felt that I had made the biggest mistake ever by even believing that I could stand a chance with you. I fell for you…” Regina tried to control her breathing, “a long time before we first talked to each other. Maybe you haven’t noticed me before on campus. But I have noticed you. I’ve seen you. I’ve grown to admire how you’re carefree by sitting on the grass outside in the afternoons with a book in your lap whilst the entire world goes by. I’ve seen how you are confident when presenting to the class. How you comfort Robin and anyone else that needs assistance.”

“You’re so…beautiful. Most of all, you’re possibly the most enchanting young woman I have ever come to cast my eyes on. And don’t get me started on the color of your eyes. They’re so bewitching. I am astounded to say the least. Everything about you,” Regina’s voice wavered, “is the definition of beautiful, Emma. And I have wanted to know you for so long now. It’s been three goddamn years. Now that I finally have you, I am not ever going to let you go.”

Emma choked on a sob. Her chest heaved uncontrollably. They were in the shadows and she felt herself crying. She couldn’t hold back even if she wanted to. Even if someone intruded. Nothing could stop her from crumbling. Nothing at all. And so she hugged herself and sank back onto a concrete post. Her bag slipped down onto the ground, hanging from one arm by the strap. And Regina stooped to collect it.

As gentle as ever, the brunette fixed the strap so that the bag hung down the blonde’s right side again. Then with the same progression, she allowed her cupped fingers to daringly seek out a caress upon the fairest of cheeks. Delicately. Remarkable. Emma curled into her touch and shuddered. And taking the brunette’s hand into hers, she held it against her lips.

“Thank you,” Emma said softly. She wasn’t wounded but weak. “For saying those things to me.”

“You don’t have to thank me,” the older woman admitted with a sympathetic smile.

“I do. Like I said, the things you just told me, no one else ever really did. I didn’t know you noticed me way before. If I only knew then maybe we could have known each other enough to talk to one another a long time ago.”

“Everything happens for a reason in its own time,” Regina admitted. “I’ll take you home.” She was hopeful.

“You don’t have to,” Emma said, still holding her hand.

But fifteen minutes later, she was comfortably seated in a plush front seat whilst the windows rolled down and the Mercedes Benz sped along the highway. Suddenly living in a moment of bliss. Of realizing that she was loved so much by someone so beautiful and pure and lovely. Someone who drove in stilettoes as her long red nails tapped upon the steering wheel covered in red leather. The seats were covered in red leather too. The interior of the car contained the softest hint of apples. And it was evidently the sexiest car she had ever seen, just to suit the owner.

“I love this song,” Regina suddenly said, smiling widely. She reached for the volume knob and nudged it. The speakers within the doors filled the car with a nostalgic old song. “It’s Eydie Gorme. My aching heart.”

Those emerald eyes sparkled as the brunette began to sing. Her voice was hoarser and comprising of a quality that was best suited for entertaining anyone. And as she sang, Regina smiled at Emma.

_Love me. Love me forever._

_Take me. Make me your own._

_Promise. Promise you’ll never._

_Leave me. Lost and alone._

_Kiss me. Strongly and sweetly._

_Tell me. You will be true._

_Love me. Love me completely._

_Now and forever. As I love you._

Emma’s cheeks turned pink. A dull blush settled on her neck and she had to divert a bashful look away from the older woman. Her heart; it sang along too. Knowing that she had moments ago been so terribly conflicted and now, they were settling on a common ground. Where deep things had been exposed and explained and trusted and loved.

Now, she was, for the first time, in love.

And she was in love with a woman.

But not just any woman. Regina Mills wasn’t any ordinary woman. She was the kind of woman who never seemed to give up. She loved so purely and deeply without holding back anything. Just remembering the giddy feeling that night when the brunette had stopped her fall. Holding onto her as their eyes locked. And then back in the quiet garden at her house. When the older woman kept touching her gently and delicately. With caresses that at that point, meant so much more than Emma had been aware of.

“Is it okay if we stop just a little by the coast?” asked Regina. “I’d like to…as words may allow…hang with you.”

“Ha, yeah. Sure,” Emma was delighted.

The Benz swung into a path cutting through the sandy beach. The lights shone onto the tide, rolling and throwing waves against each other and when the car stopped, the blonde pushed the door open. Her mind had been craving for some kind of medium to act as a form of release. To breathe out all the negative energy and to empty her chest. To become refreshed and to revive herself.

Regina turned the car around so that the back faced the ocean. And both of them hopped onto the trunk.

“I needed this so much,” the brunette shook a cigarette from a small pack. She offered Emma.

“Nah, I don’t smoke,” the younger woman declined. “Never knew you did.”

“Actually I’m quitting. In dire need to. These are specifically made to help smokers wean themselves away from the cravings. I’ve moved from four a day to just one in the nights.” Regina flicked the lighter and lit up the end. She inhaled deeply with the cigarette clipped between the second and third fingers. And then, her red lips parted to allow a smooth trail of smoke to escape.

All of this Emma admired from where she sat. The grace. The elegance. The small gestures that made her fall just a little more in love every time.

“I actually needed this too. It’s like you read my mind.”

“We’re soul mates,” Regina said. She shifted a little more so that their thighs were touching now. “We’re destined to be together.”

“You’re such a hopeless romantic,” Emma said softly. “The things you said to me. I like how you don’t hold back. And you’re just free to say what you want.”

Regina playfully flicked the lighter on and off. She watched the small flame as it danced in those brown eyes. “I’m frustrated with being oh so tough and composed all day long. My job turns me into a punching bag. So at the end of the day, I become a softie.”

“Are you one of those really stern managers that doesn’t take shit from anyone?” Emma wondered out loud. The ocean roared. The water splashed onto the granite columns as if whipping them because of bad behavior.

Regina tilted her head sideways and smiled. “Let’s just say that when there is a job to be done, I go down hard on slackers. And my department tends to entertain a lot of horse play since it _is_ marketing. So when the work needs to be done, I step down on them.”

“That’s not a bad thing,” Emma agreed. She collected the lighter from the brunette. Their fingers, in the process of it being handed over, gently entwined together. And as if savoring the tingly feeling that travelled through her arm, the blonde didn’t quite break the connection.

The older woman, gazed at her and allowed it. “You’re a flirt. I should kiss you right now,” she said in a hoarser voice than usual.

“Do it then,” Emma dared softly. “I want you to.”

“In my own time,” Regina fixed her eyes upon the ocean and blinked.

The blonde, of course, scoffed. “Suit yourself,” she said, highly amused.

“After I lost my father in 1998,” the brunette began sometime after they had been sitting in silence, “I was just where you are now. Swirling in self-doubt. Never believing anyone else could ever love me as much as he did. I was left with a mother who was a depressed alcoholic. She threw tantrums and broke expensive things. I was always on the receiving end of her harsh remarks.”

“I’m so sorry,” Emma said in a saddened tone. “You didn’t deserve that.”

“She died three years ago. I didn’t find out until five months after when the will was to be read. My sister and I were never close. So naturally, when she phoned from England, I was under the impression that perhaps it was a miracle. I never went to the funeral. I didn’t have a choice.”

“Would you have liked to go?” the blonde considered the brunette’s face. Those brown eyes remained listless.

“No. My mother ruined my childhood. My father was the only one who believed in me. And so I thought to myself after he died, that I was alone in this world. That I was going to be a failure because my life support was gone. So what did I do? I turned to alcohol. Preferably whiskey. Scotch.” Regina sighed. She tapped the end of the cigarette on the tip of a finger. “I became an alcoholic. A depressed, lonely one. When I started AA meetings, I was perhaps… eating away on the last 10% of my savings with a job as a clerk in a travel agency. I didn’t have a degree. And why? I didn’t believe in my worth.”

Emma felt the weight of the brunette’s past. Flicking the lighter, she allowed the flame to last until finally cutting off the fuel.

“Then this boy came along five years ago. I remember it clearly,” she puffed smoke into the air, her face upturned as if considering the dark night sky. “2013. His name was Kevin. Rode a Harley. A black. He always wore a leather jacket. He smoked pot and then transferred to meth. I was the stupid 22 year old girl in my second year at university that fell for him because he made me feel special.”

“I thought you said you’re gay,” Emma frowned. “Or were you bisexual back then?”

“Oh the dramatic moment that made me realize that one true part of myself,” she said, considering the blonde with watery eyes. “He wanted one thing from me. And I gave in. And I’ve been with exactly three men intimately, dear. Three. It does nothing for me. With all the hair and the firm upper body. The lack of softness and delicateness.”

“You like the boobs, don’t you?” Emma smiled at her.

Regina nodded. “I must confess. I do like the boobs.”

They both laughed. The wind chased the sound away like music and then somewhere from the ocean, a ship’s horn sounded like a long, heartless cry.

“I’ve never been with a woman,” Emma said with a shrug. “So I don’t know really what it’s like. And there was this one guy at summer camp. I had a few beers and made out with him. But I can’t remember half of it. Just that he was suffocating me.”

“Oh the thrills of summer camp,” Regina’s eyes sparkled. “I had many.”

“With girls?” Those emerald eyes widened.

“With boys. The first time I realized that I could be gay was when I met my ex. We were together for six years.”

“Wow,” Emma stared. “That’s a long time.” Six years ago, she was fifteen, suffering from acne and obsessed with Harry Potter.

“I met her at rehab. Funny, isn’t it?” Regina turned to offer a smile at the blonde. “How we can find love in the strangest places. She was my counsellor. Maleficent Jacobs.”

“Like the Maleficent in Sleeping Beauty?” Emma wondered out loud.

“I love to find the similarities in the two of them at nights when she comes to mind. And then I thank myself for letting her go.” Regina chuckled. She tossed the cigarette butt further into the night. “Emma, she saved me from the bottle. I fell in love with her because she did. Because I had no choice but to expose my flaws to her. To reveal my raw self. And then, she buried herself under my skin and became parasitic. It was the kind of relationship that made me feel as if I was always the one with the issues. The one who needed to be fixed around every corner.”

“Lemme guess. She used your flaws against you.” Emma shook her head. “Predictable.” Those green eyes rested on a blinking white light in the ocean. A ship was either coming in or leaving.

Regina, however, nodded and sighed. “Blinded by love.”

They stared at the waves rolling in. Nothing was said for a long time. Until the blonde felt her hand being comfortable enfolded into a warm and soft one. For a few seconds their fingers remained entwined, until Regina wound her protective arm around Emma and pulled her closer. By then, the younger woman’s heart was beating so fast, she felt as if her chest would explode.

“My parents never understands me,” she finally said as the brunette took her hand and played with her fingers. “They’re like…so far from knowing me. I think my dad does sometimes. But he’s the kind of dad that just leaves me to do what I want because he trusts me to make the right decisions and to learn from the bad ones. But mom…she always has the idea of the perfect daughter who gets married to a handsome guy. And then she gets grandkids. And I can’t give her that.”

“You can.” Regina pressed a kiss onto blonde hair. Her lips lingered on top of Emma’s head. “Not the handsome son-in-law part. But the kids.”

“Like adopting?”

“Or a donor,” the brunette provided. “There are ways.”

“Look at us talking about kids when I don’t even know if I’m your…” and then she just stopped. The word itself. The label. Was entirely new to her tongue. And Emma felt a slight chill inside of her, almost like a small shock when she even considered that maybe Regina wasn’t ever going to consider her as that. They had come so far and yet she was silently doubting everything that existed.

“I’ll make a deal with you,” the brunette said softly. “After we kiss. Then you’ll get to decide if we’re officially together. Or would you like us to date before having me label you as that special word that begins with g? That you find difficult to say.”

“I don’t know. I’ve never done this before. I don’t know how it’s supposed to work,” Emma said nervously. “I’ve seen all I need to see in the movies, on TV shows and read whatever else in books.” She was really nervous about the whole ordeal. About even contemplating a future with someone apart from Robin and her parents.

“Let’s just… _be_ …for now.” Regina hugged her closer. Emma melted into the warmth of the older woman.

She felt somewhat mushy and absolutely blissful. “Okay. And then when we do kiss, we’ll decide from there.”

“I’m quite a good kisser,” the brunette said in her husky voice. “Your mother has nothing to worry. I will satisfy you in every department. Material or physical.” She grinned afterwards.

“Listen to you talking like a big shot,” Emma laughed. She gently threw an arm around the older woman and buried her face into Regina’s neck. “Tell me a little about what it’s like being with another woman. Or is that too forward?”

“I’d rather show you…” Regina smirked.

Emma, pulled her close and savored the warmth. The scent of jasmine. The watermelon trails that lingered in her hair. And most of all, the softest hint of detergent on Regina’s clothes. The desire to just envelope her into a warm hug as the world folded around them.

“I don’t have a lot of boobs, though,” the blonde admitted whilst concealing her face in those dark tendrils.

Regina, however, chuckled. “Just a mouthful is enough for me.”

“Oh my god!” Emma laughed, and her chest shook. “Did you really just say that?”

“I did. I’m a naughty girl, dear. Very naughty.”

“I think I love that,” the blonde admitted, pressing a kiss onto Regina’s jawline.

When the Mercedes Benz rolled up in front of the blonde’s house, the roles were now reversed. For Robin was the one staring out of the window from the sitting on the cushion. And he gradually witnessed to his best friend giddily hopping out the car and laughing as she did.

By the time she had stolen her way into the dark house because it was already after ten, there he was, as serious as a judge, and waiting.

Emma, didn’t notice him at first, for she was still drowning in the evening and how the events had occurred. From a nervy class activity to glorious time spent by the coast. Time that entailed so much more than anticipated.

Shrugging off her red leather jacket, it was then when Robin cleared his throat.

The blonde gasped, and flipped on the light.

“So I suppose that we’re even now,” he said in a flat tone. “Both hiding secrets from each other. Two peas in a pod. And such. And such.” Although he was clearly a little upset, Robin wasn’t that infuriated to warrant an argument. He never truly argued with her. If it did end up becoming heated, he always stopped, remembered that his father brought him up to respect a woman. And this one was the most special of all.

Emma, sighed. She dropped her jacket aimlessly onto the carpeted floor and tumbled onto the bed. “I have so much to tell you, Robin. I really don’t know if you’re going to like it. But you have to know.”

“I think that I should go first,” he said with a downcast look. “Seeing as I was riding the bullet longer than you obviously were. The music classes…”

“What do you mean?” those emerald eyes widened. “What about them?”

“Killian and I,” he said, appearing bashful. “Honestly, it’s easier to imagine this conversation occurring inside my head all at once,” he tapped his disheveled hair. “But it isn’t that easy to hit this spot on. With you considering me. With those puppy eyes. Stop it dammit.”

“I’m sorry,” she said, shaking her head and actually smiling. “But my mind is fuzzy right now and I really am so anxious to hear what you have to say.”

“Just so you’re fully aware of this,” he slipped off of the seat and slowly approached the bed, “I am not to be held accountable for any biased or prejudiced views you might have on the topic.”

“Just spit it out, okay?”

He sat upon the bed and pressed his fingertips onto his temples. As if contemplating the worst. “Bloody hell. Here’s what. Let’s both count to three and then we’ll both blurt out whatever we have to confess at once. That way, we can both be surprised and we can then process the information.”

Emma frowned. “But what if we don’t hear what the other one said?”

“Then we’ll repeat it.” He stared at her as if it was the dumbest question ever.

“But…”

“Oh for fuck’s sake, just do it!” Robin gritted his teeth, fists clenched. “On the count of three?”

“Yeah.” Emma shrugged.

“One,” they both began with their hearts pumping, staring at each other, “two, three!”

“I’m in love with Regina!”

“I’m in love with Killian!”

Silence.

They both gasped. Robin’s hand flew up to his mouth. And Emma’s hung agape. Her emerald eyes were as wide as saucers.

“What the hell!” she cried out. “You can’t be serious Robin?”

“My god, we’re both gay. My god,” he stood up, laid a hand upon his forehead dramatically and slowly approached the window. From there, Robin weakly fumbled with the latch. He sunk onto the seat and stared out into the night.

“Killian?” Emma was frozen. “I mean, I know that you two take music lessons and you’re both doing something for the talent show. I saw when he dropped you off on Saturday. But I thought you two were just beginning to be friends and all. I had no idea that you were that close.”

“But that’s the thing. I haven’t told him,” Robin said in a voice so soft, he was barely heard. “I decided to tell you first. To perhaps…have you talk me out of feeling the way I do.”

“Robin…come on.” The blonde gazed at him with a softer look. “Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

“I have feelings for a guy!” he turned around and stared at her. “A mate I detested. I loathed. Until he played that bloody song for me on the guitar and now I’m losing my jelly beans.”

“Calm down,” she said in a softer tone. “Don’t be like that, okay? Don’t be so hard on yourself. I mean, I was in the same spot where you are right now. I mean, like sitting right there,” she pointed, “and losing my shit too. She was doing these things. She was saying these things and I kept freaking out. I didn’t understand what it meant. I couldn’t believe that my Prince Charming would end up being this…sexy Queen.”

Robin brought his knees up to his chest and hugged them. He appeared utterly wounded. “This is not okay. For me.”

“It’s not okay for both of us, actually,” Emma admitted, appearing sullen.

Truth be told, her parents would throw a fit, knowing that their only daughter; their beloved high achiever in the family ended up being gay. Just when she was about to close off her degree in business management with a definite distinction. Their little girl screwing her life up because she was in love with a woman. And it didn’t end there, of course.

Emma had been witness to their family’s criticisms on Ruby’s lifestyle. Whispering behind her aunt’s back and throwing stones as if they were too perfect. Society would never favor what she was feeling entirely. Would never allow it boldly in public. Because living in a small town as closely knitted as theirs with maybe 1,000 residents was not the ideal place to stand out as totally special.

“When did you first know?” Robin’s hunched form was shadowed in the dark upon the window seat. A light wind came in and lifted his hair. The night was so silent. The wind howled around the neighborhood.

Emma felt her chest grow cold for a moment. As if doom was dawning on the outside. “It’s funny. But I almost fell. And she caught me. Then something happened. And in that moment, I felt…I don’t know…different and then it was summer break and there I was, thinking about it. Wondering why on earth I was feeling so weird about her.”

“I can see the appeal though. For Regina, I mean.” He smiled a little.

“You were the one who wanted to be with her first,” the blonde reminded him.

“The amazing dark hair. Those warm brown eyes. The way she walks; poised like a Queen. Her expensive clothes and car. She’s quite accomplished. Calm. A conversationalist. A gorgeous body. Have you imagined yourself just lying on her? Without no clothes?”

“Geez! Come on!” Emma tossed a pillow at him. The doughnut shaped object barely missed sailing out the window as it hit the pane instead. “Why do guys always think about sex alone?”

“Because believe it or not, our brains are not in our skulls,” he winked at her. “This game we engaged ourselves in,” Robin unfolded his legs and they hung down from the window seat, “began as something so forward and ended up being entirely twisted. We were perhaps working against fate. And with a gentle push, fate brought us onto the right path. I hope.” He scratched his head. “I’m not sure if Killian feels the same about me.”

“If he’s into guys and he doesn’t find you attractive, personality and looks combined,” Emma said scowling, “then he’s a jackass. Honestly, you’re the handsomest guy I know.”

“Even more than Ryan Reynolds?”

“Even more than him,” she could hear his ego growing from where the blonde sat upon the bed. “And now, I’ll do whatever it takes to help you through this. If Jones needs an ass kicking, then I’ll do it.”

“Aw shucks,” Robin blushed. “Why thanks mate.”

“So tell me a little more about when he played the guitar for you,” she swooned, lying flat on her stomach and gazing at him. “I want to know every single detail. And then, I’ll tell you about how Regina took me to the coast tonight, and how we sat on the trunk of her car and talked.”

“Bloody hell,” he stared back in awe. “Your first date!”

\--

The talent show rolled around on a Saturday afternoon with as much enthusiasm, wild cheers and supportive fans as expected.

Last year’s round of the event had brought in a few mishaps, with some nasty falls, remarks thrown and a band being egged on stage.

Even as Emma waited for Regina by the entrance, she could literally feel her chest exploding with nerves. Terribly anxious about Robin’s performance on stage and the surprising news that his father would be present in the audience. Obviously upset that his mother preferred to lament about a headache in order to miss it. Scared about actually sitting next to Regina in the audience around everyone else. And most of all, hoping that Killian would at least send Robin a hint that he could be attracted to him.

For the week that passed since that night when she had spilled her guts out to Robin, Emma noticed something rather different. It wasn’t that he was flustered in nerves alone for the show. Because his talent on the piano was phenomenal. He could read a piece of music and play it flawlessly. And she wasn’t worried about him in that area. No. It was the distant look in his eyes that forced Emma into a world where she wanted to protect him at all costs.

If Jones was guarded on this one; never being able to reciprocate any kind of feelings that Robin was swimming in, then Emma would be there for him in any way she could manage. Not Killian. But Robin. Because as she had mentioned on a prior occasion, Robin showed up like Superman when the world wasn’t fair. When her grades sucked. When she couldn’t go camping like all the other girls in high school. When she fell off her bike and bumped her head. When she was in bed with the flu or suffering from terrible period cramps.

He was there with chocolates and flowers and jokes and old British movies that made her laugh or cry.

Robin was the brother she never had.

Regina was just handing in her ticket by the door when Emma realized that she forgot how to breathe. How to allow her lungs to simply work on their own. Instead of taking one deep breath and then then exhaling.

Naturally, she stood rooted on the spot, hoping that those brown eyes would find her. Lingering by the lemonade stand that was being monitored by first years. And when their eyes met, she was again reminded of why love was constantly described as a lightheaded, fuzzy kind of feeling. Why books entertained words like ‘bewitched’ and ‘captivated’ and ‘mesmerized’ within their pages when lovers met. Why the earth could continue rotating on its axis and the world would slip by second after second and none of it could really rise above the beating of her heart. The pulsing of blood through her veins. The numb feeling around her fingertips. Her palms becoming clammy. Her knees growing weak.

“Hi,” Regina simply said, approaching with a shy smile.

Emma took some time to drink in the knee long satin red dress with sleeves. The plunging neckline was of course, where those emerald eyes lingered. And then, she found the brunette’s gold watch. Onto her red painted nails. Then her black ankle boots that brought them to the same height.

“Wow,” Emma managed. “I think I just fell in love again with you. If that’s possible.”

Regina’s cheeks grew crimson. She was clutching a black rectangular purse. “You beat me to it. I saw you from the ticket booth and thought to myself, I just might be the luckiest woman in the world.”

Both of them drew nearer to each other. It was as if some kind of magnetic force pulled them closer. Green eyes gazed into brown ones and without a care in the world, Regina gently slipped her fingers through Emma’s.

People swirled around them. Laughter erupted. And conversations lasted. But nothing compared to the way she felt about the brunette. Nothing in the world had prepared her for this kind of love. Not even the books she read. The soppy romances. The classic Jane Austen stories. Emma always believed that she would fall in love with a handsome man like Mister Darcy or Captain Wentworth. Someone who could fit her into a life that was suggested by the world as normal.

Until now, she had created her own normal. And as they retreated from the lemonade stand, following the trail of people into the auditorium, both of them glanced at each other and smiled.

The red curtains slowly rolled open half an hour later to reveal a finely polished grand piano made of brown mahogany. Silence, of course filled the hall. There were a few whispers and then a cough. Regina, fully aware of Emma’s nervous state, reached for the blonde’s hand between them and she squeezed. And without sparing a few seconds, hoping for a dramatic pause, Killian Jones walked onto the stage wearing a crisp red long sleeved shirt with a pair of tailored black pants.

The crowd went wild as he took his place upon a stool. And even as the crowd hooted for him, his face registered nothing but complete composure. Whilst Robin, who had slipped out amongst the cheers, seemed a bit nervous. He found Emma in the audience though, smiled and took a deep breath.

They both bowed.

Emma applauded feverishly. She placed two fingers between her lips and whistled. And Regina gazed at her with so much love and admiration in her eyes, had the blonde noticed, then she would have melted onto the floor.

As the auditorium settled down, and Robin began to play on the piano, Emma’s pores created tiny bumps upon her arms. She couldn’t quite decipher the song as yet until Killian began to strum away on his guitar and then…

He started to sing the lyrics to Ed Sheeran’s song ‘Castle on the Hill’.

Slowly at first. He tilted his head sideways and seemed to live, breathe and savor every single musical note and word. Even Robin’s eyes closed a bit, perhaps becoming mesmerized by Jones’ voice and talent. And then, both of them began to sing in perfect harmony.

The crowd began to cheer as the two built up a crescendo. As the both belted out the lyrics, smiling from the pleasing response from the people rocking in their seats. And all through it, Regina held Emma’s hand.

Even when the entire show was over, and the winner was announced as Jones and Robin, neither of them moved from where they sat in the sixth row. The two men sat upon the stage as the crowd filtered out, both holding onto their gold trophy and laughing with each other. It was so unusual to witness Killian’s newfound intrigue in a man whom he had detested. Now, teasing Robin by flicking his right ear and smirking. And now both of them seemed so comfortable in each other’s presence that Emma loved it.

“They seem close,” Regina noticed firsthand. She had Emma’s hand upon her lap and was gently caressing the younger woman’s palm.

“They do, don’t they?” the blonde withheld any further information. For the moment, she would appear totally clueless.

“Wouldn’t it be amazing if they both fell in love with each other?” came the brunette’s hopes as she smiled. “Then the game you two began playing would turn out to be successful with a change in expectations.”

“I guess,” Emma shrugged. She felt entirely mushy, excited and nervous at the same time.

“Are you alright?” Regina took up the younger woman’s hand that she had grasped, and pressed Emma’s curled up fingers onto her lips. “My dearest love.”

Naturally, the blonde blushed deeply as she glanced at the brunette and turned away. “Yeah. I’m in heaven. Are you?”

“Heaven or hell, I really don’t care at this point. Once I’m with you.” Admitting such a wonderful thing lifted so much weight off the older woman’s chest. She sighed.

“So we’re both going down together?” Emma asked in the pleasantest mood ever. She wanted nothing more than the purest form of love.

“Who cares about dying when we can both be immortal?” Regina’s brown eyes twinkled.

“And how are we going to do that exactly?” Emma, of course, considered the older woman with raised eyebrows and a smile.

“We’ll both figure it out?”

“You’re such a tease. I want a prologue.”

“Even if it entails a large pot upon a crackling fire with boiling green liquid within and the two of us dancing around?” Regina tilted her head.

Emma stared at her. She snorted. The noise of course stole Robin and Killian’s attention. However, so engrossed the two of them were in conversation that they returned to it immediately.

“You smell so amazing,” Regina nuzzled her face into the younger woman’s neck and blonde hair. “What is that perfume?”

“It’s this pink Dove soap I use. And everything else is just Emma.”

The brunette chuckled into the blonde’s shoulder. Their bodies were so close. So pleasingly close. And slowly but surely, Emma closed her eyes whilst enjoying the thrilling feeling of those kisses now being pressed onto her neck. Small kisses. Light ones. One on top of the other until she felt Regina’s warm breath on her right cheek; causing her to inhale deeply. Even as Robin and Killian sat not so far away, the blonde dared to escape into a world of her own where the only fantasy was by entertaining the slow teasing of the woman sitting so close to her.

“I can’t help myself,” Regina croaked. “I just keep imagining you fashioned in a desirous state that entails no clothes.”

“But we have to be girlfriends first,” the blonde was only teasing.

“I don’t want to give you up. I don’t want to let you love somebody else but me…”

“So what’s it gonna be?” Emma asked. “I just hope that I don’t…”

And suddenly, her vision was obscured by those brown eyes. Her lips were found. She felt those soft ones belonging to Regina upon hers. A soft kiss that curled her toes and entertained the most thrilling and blissful feeling of all. Something she had never experienced and never imagined to be so perfect. As the two of them kissed slowly, her fingers drove pathways through dark, choppy hair and she pulled the brunette’s face closer. She allowed herself to be kissed deeper and slower. And what felt like the best moment in her life last forever.

“Drinks on me, you two lovers!” Killian’s voice broke up their kiss. “Leave some room for the alcohol and food.”

Smiling into the older woman’s lips, Emma held Regina’s face between her palms and pressed a long kiss onto the softest lips ever. She wondered only after they were walking out of the auditorium, if any red lipstick was smeared all over her chin and cheeks.

\--

Monday rolled around with nothing but thrills on both ends.

They were both in the library again.

Even as finals reared its ugly head, both of them found that studying was as difficult a task as coming out to their parents. How were they both planning to do such a thing? Emma realized that perhaps not everything had to be kept public in their house. There were certain things that she needed to feel and experience without involving her parents. And whenever the need arose maybe to divulge that kind of information, then she would.

Now, she coupled up with Robin to enjoy the ride.

“He’s not entirely revealing on his feelings.”

Emma studied the brunette browsing books between the shelves and she sighed. Killian was doing the same, examining the classics and frowning deeply as if the books were arguing with him. He was perhaps the harshest critic she had ever met when it came to literature. But then, so was Robin, putting down a book after the first chapter if the story wasn’t appealing enough.

“But you told him how you feel though,” Emma wondered about Jones’ sexuality. “And that’s all that matters at this point.”

“Yes but Emma, do you know how frustrating it is to continue like this? I’ve told him Saturday and everything remains the same between us. We text the same. He sounds the same when we call each other.”

“But that’s not so bad, is it?” She looked at him with a hopeful expression. “Imagine if things had changed after you told him? The main fact that things haven’t changed just proves to you that it wasn’t a big deal to him. And maybe he not making a big deal out of it means something else. Like maybe he feels the same. Because most guys wouldn’t react the way he did if another guy told him that he has feelings for him. Think about it.”

Robin was lost in thought for a minute. He then fixated his eyes upon Killian and seemed dazed.

“I think Killian has had a crush on you. Way before you started liking him. And that’s why he was so awful to you. He liked stirring up your feelings. Seeing you get worked up. Just look how things have changed between you two. You bonded by playing music. You both worked together to perform in the talent show. And if he didn’t like you at all, then none of that would be possible.”

“You’ve got a point,” Robin’s forehead was creased now. Truthfully, his heart was straining to accept that maybe the other bloke did fancy him back. But being slightly pessimistic, he drifted towards the belief that Killian would never feel the same way about him.

“He’s such an ass. We both know that. He’s arrogant and he’s sophisticated. His opinion alone matters. But you fell in love with him. And you didn’t hold back. If you did and you weren’t in this for the long haul, then you wouldn’t have told him how you feel. Now I dare you to get up, go over there, and kiss him,” Emma suddenly said.

“Bloody hell!” he stared at her, dumbfounded. “Are you totally insane?” Was she really asking him to break out of his shell, and just waltz over there coolly?

“What if I told you that all the best people are?” She smiled at him. “Insane, I mean.”

“Okay Alice. I’m totally bonkers as well. Exactly one million percent over the insane limit.”

“Do it, Robin.” The blonde entwined her fingers and smiled, starry eyed at him.

“If you insist so much, I find it quite difficult to attack the situation without fearing the worst.” He frowned.

Emma sighed. She glanced at Killian perusing the shelves and settled on another approach. “I’ll be right back.”

“Huh?” he stared in bewilderment at her as she sprang up, out of her chair and began walking away in the same direction where Jones resided. “Dammit,” Robin buried his face in folded arms upon the table, as his heart beat wildly.

By the time Emma had returned, she was smiling from ear to ear. Almost as if there was a rainbow outside after raining kittens. The very obvious fact that she refused to sit down signaled to Robin that something had transpired that required immediate action. Something odious perhaps. Or something fantastic.

“He wants to talk to you,” she said, and held out a hand. “Come on. Get up.”

“Talk to me…about what?” Robin stared at her with widened eyes. “What on earth did you tell him?”

“I asked him a few questions. He answered truthfully. And now, he wants you to get your butt over there. Pronto.”

“I’m not going over there until you tell me exactly what transpired!”

“Robin, I swear, if you don’t get your ass up, I’m going to ignore you for a week.”

“It’s only seven days,” he shrugged.

“A month,” she glared at him. “No make it a year. Until we both graduate. No more sleepovers. Nor junk food. And no more movie marathon nights.”

“That’s not cool,” he slowly rose up, and unfolded himself.

“So what’s it gonna be?” she stared at him, hands planted on her hips.

Shaking in his boots, Robin began to take tentative steps towards Killian. It was now or never.

There Jones stood, leaning against the wall with a book tucked under his arm and he was smirking. Delightfully smirking as he had done after playing a piece on the piano in their first shared music lesson. But now as Robin drew nearer, that smirk slowly disappeared. In his eyes, a small fire was ignited. Burning a little.

“I feel that I am being pressured right now to comply,” Robin began after clearing his throat. “Emma sent me over here.”

“About damn time,” Killian said sardonically. He was toying with the pages of a book. Obviously those dark eyes held much more mystery than the other man could fathom. “I was wondering if you would ever come over here to help me find Dorian Gray. Oscar Wilde is hiding, I fear.”

“Not quite,” Robin collected the very same title from the fourth row and held it out. His cheeks were slightly colored. After revealing the book though, something like static shot through his heart. It was almost as if a connection was fighting to be established. A connection between the two of them that would either make or break things.

“Very heroic,” Jones collected the novel. Just as he did though, their fingers brushed and even as Robin chose to quickly withdraw his touch, Killian grabbed his hand and held it. “Why are you so doubtful?”

“Because…I have no reason to feel otherwise?” Robin offered a sympathetic look. “You’re not exactly an open book as I am.”

By then, Regina was leaning into the shelf, furrowing her brows as the conversation unfolded. The blonde was perched on the edge of the table, collecting the scene as a memory for future reference. And gleefully she was.

“All I needed was time, Robin,” Killian proceeded to explain in all sincerity. “To process what you told me. I never denied anything. I never said that my feelings oppose yours. All I wanted was time.”

“And I’ll give you that,” Robin was so nervous, he gazed at Jones intently and wanted to disappear. “As much time as you need. I’ll give you so much more.”

“I don’t need any more time,” Jones said suddenly. He was mirroring the other man’s lost gaze.

When Robin was pulled into a deep kiss, he lost himself some more. Until the world disappeared and Emma jumped into the air from sheer delight.

Half an hour later, four smiling individuals pushed open the doors of the library and approached the steps. Both pairs were holding hands. Robin was laughing whilst Killian planted a kiss onto his left cheek.  As they all descended the stairs, Regina suddenly tugged Emma into her and locked their lips together.

She unearthed a moan that lasted for two seconds as they kissed deeply. And feeling really shy of himself, Robin smiled whilst playing the role of the onlooker.

“Remember that Ed Sheeran song I sung to you in your very first music class?” Killian suddenly asked.

“How could I forget?” Robin admitted. “One does not simply forget something like that.”

“It was me expressing myself in music to you,” Jones tugged him close. “Ed Sheeran did it for both of us.”

“He did, didn’t he?” Robin smiled.

“Make a run for it?” Emma suddenly took his hand as they stood on the top of the steps. “On the count of three?”

“In heels?” Regina frowned. She gazed down at her stilettoes. “What if I fall?”

Emma, of course, held onto the brunette’s hand. “Then I’ll catch you,” she said. Those emerald eyes twinkled. “I’ll always catch you when you fall. Just as you caught me when I did.”

“One!” Killian began, bracing himself for it.

“Two,” Robin continued.

“Three!” Emma yelled, and suddenly, they all sprang forth, rushing down the steps and running onto the paved avenue with such a burst of energy.

Laughing as they went along, the skies opened up and it began to drizzle lightly. However, neither of them cared. They were all in love and happily tasting the thrills life had to offer.

**THE END**

 


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